Gone Forever
by silversrider
Summary: Skipper and Rico are leaving the unit on a secret duo mission. Skipper leaves Private in charge. But when everything escalates, the past will be revealed. "In the end, everyone ends up alone." Rated T for character dead. No pairings.
1. Chapter 1: Duo Mission

_So here is my new story, this one is mostly Private centered._

_It will include some character dead, no pairings._

_It will not influence any other story._

_I hope you'll enjoy this story!_

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**Chapter 1: Duo Mission**

_"In the end, everyone ends up all alone."_

Outside, on a sunny Sunday, four penguins were swimming in their pool. The visitors of the zoo were looking at them, only noticing how cute and cuddle they were. Nobody had any suspicions about them, they were just penguins. And penguins are just animals. And animals are too stupid to think, although, that was in their imagination. Nobody noticed that the penguins weren't only doing some stupid swimming rounds or some stupid smiling and waving routine. Nobody noticed that the penguins weren't stupid. Only the other animals knew it, because they were also not as dumb as the people were thinking they were.

"Just twenty laps to go and we are done boys!" One of the penguins called. It seemed like that he was the leader because the other penguins listened to him. They were swimming slightly faster. The largest penguin lagged behind. "Kowalski, are you tired already? We are just slightly over the half." A cute small penguin asked to the largest one. "Considering my own…" The other penguins weren't listening anymore. Kowalski was really smart, but his explanations about everything were just so not interesting for them.

After a view minutes, three of the four penguins were done with their laps and they jumped out of the water. "Great job Private, Rico! Kowalski come on, forget about that last lap, we have to do our cleaning now." Skipper looked like he was freshly awoken, as if he hadn't swum at all. The other penguins were looking almost worn out. Their faces dropped when they heard that Skipper still was continuing cleaning day. It was not exactly cleaning, it was more like a training, a harsh one. They sighed and followed their leader, leaving their public wondering where they went.

Skipper knew that his team did exceptional excellent today, so he almost decided to call of the cleaning routines. Almost, if he didn't really enjoyed the cleaning days he would have done it. He smiled at his soldiers.

Private knew that Kowalski and Rico were really dreading this cleaning days, but he really enjoyed them. It brought him so much joy to see everything sparkle like it was new again. He hoped that he could get his favorite job: Cleaning the floor with the mob. He didn't know why, but it was just a perfect task for him. "Skippah, can I mop the floor today?" Skipper sighed. "Of course Private, go ahead."

Skipper knew that his soldiers didn't like this cleaning routine, but it was a great training. It gave them some muscles and he trained their ability to listen to him too. Kowalski and Rico were both not so pleased with their tasks. Kowalski had to clean his own lab, without getting distracted or blowing up the HQ, and Rico would clean the rest of their HQ. Skipper would just watch them doing it, mostly eyeing Kowalski, so he wouldn't blow up the HQ with one of his inventions, doomed to go wrong, horribly wrong.

Private had the floor almost clean and sparkly when the phone rang. Nobody was able to answer it, because Skipper had to make sure that Kowalski wasn't blowing their HQ to pieces and Rico and the phone were sworn enemies. So he answered. "Hello, You are speaking with Skippah's HQ, This is private Private." He answered it as Skipper had told him to do. "Good day, I need to speak commander Skipper, now." Private had no idea who he was talking to, but he knew it had to be someone important. "Skippah! There is a phone call for you!" He yelled towards Kowalski's laboratory.

Skipper was getting a bit angry at Kowalski. He had to prevent 3 experiments to explode and they weren't even done with the half of the lab. Then he heard Private calling. "You better make sure that your inventions don't blow up in the time that I'm gone!" He growled towards Kowalski and made his way for the phone.

Private made his way to his mob, but still heard Skipper talking. "Me and another soldier? What do you want from us?" He paused. "Of course it's classified, but I need to know what I have to do." He paused again. "Alright we leave tomorrow morning. Good day to you sir." Skipper threw the phone against the wall. He seemed really upset and angry. Private didn't know why, but he presumed it had to do with that phone call.

The next morning Skipper woke them two hours earlier than he would do on a normal day. He really hated it that he had to go on this mission, leaving the half of his team at the HQ. But he also knew that this was an excellent opportunity for his big test for Private. But he hadn't wanted to do it this soon. What if it was too soon?

"What's up Skipper? Isn't it a bit early to wake up?" asked a sleepy Kowalski. Skipper knew that he was not well-known for his patience but it was wearing thin already. "Come on! You don't want to make me repeat my orders!" His soldiers were immediately on their feet when they heard his threat.

"Rico and I will leave this unit for a duo mission in 1 hour. Rico make yourself ready." Kowalski and Private looked at each other. A duo mission? That has never happened before. Private knew that Kowalski would be his supervisor, so he prepared himself for all those boring speeches he would have to endure when Skipper said something unbelievable.

"Private will be the commander for the time that Rico and I are on the mission."

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_So this was the first chapter._

_I hope that you liked it!_


	2. Chapter 2: Feelings

_Next chapter is here, I admit it's not my best one.  
_

_It's a bit short too...  
_

_I hope you like it!_**  
**

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**Chapter 2: Feelings**

Kowalski and Private looked at each other. A duo mission? That has never happened before. Private knew that Kowalski would be his supervisor, so he prepared himself for all those boring speeches he would have to endure when Skipper said something unbelievable.

"Private will be the commander for the time that Rico and I are on the mission."

Skipper and Rico had just left the HQ and everything went wrong already. Kowalski wasn't excepting Skippers orders. He was the lieutenant, the second in command and he would not take orders from a private! Even if it was Private… Although Private had ordered him to do 15 laps in the pool, he had just walked away to his lab. He had tried to repair an old coffee machine which he wanted to improve, but everything just exploded. He guessed that he forgot to carry a two, or maybe it was just not his lucky day.

Private was really excited that he was the one in charge, but Kowalski seemed really upset about it. Skipper had to talk to him for over 30 minutes to make him calm down, but Kowalski was still a bit angry and upset about it. Private had asked him if he would join his swimming exercises, but Kowalski just walked away. Private had not the faintest idea what he should do now, so he just did his own laps before getting inside their HQ. He was turning on the television when he heard the explosion coming from Kowalski's lab. He went inside it. "Kowalski, are you okay?" Everything was smoking, but he still could see Kowalski's silhouette with his clipboard. He knocked it to his head and seemed really frustrated. Private knew that he probably forgot to carry the two again, so he decided to be friendly to him. "Kowalski, do you need my help with anything?" Kowalski looked at him in a strange way. "No, Private I don't need your help." He was probably still mad at him and probably at Skipper too.

Kowalski knew that it wasn't Privates fault that Skipper had made him the new commander. It was just an exercise, it was not necessary to get so upset about it. But now the boy had interrupted him on a very bad moment and he couldn't help picking on him. He just wasn't in the mood. At first Skipper picked Rico, I mean really, Rico? Over him for this duo mission and now he was leaving Private as the commander too. He felt totally out ruled. What if he wasn't a key to this unit anymore? He knew that they would be lost without his intellect, but he couldn't help thinking about leaving, for the first time he arrived at this very place.

He really had never heard of such dangerous operation in his whole life. He wasn't sure if it was the wisest decision to take Rico with him. At this point it seemed even a bit suicidal. But name one time that he made a decision that was wise or not suicidal. At this very moment, he couldn't, so he would just have to wing it and hope for the best. Just like he would always do. He signed to Rico that they had to move in.

A sudden cold feeling fell over Private, as if you forget something important, and you know you have forgotten something, but you can't really lay a flipper on it. Until it explodes in your face. You know that kind of feeling when something bad is about to happen, but you don't know how to escape it. That was exactly the feelings he had. He tried to shake it off, wondering if this was that gut feeling Skipper told him about. He waddled out of Kowalski's lab and made his way to Marlene's habitat. She surely knew what to do about it.

Kowalski heard Private go out of their HQ. He knew that he probably had to listen to Private, just to make him happy, but he didn't feel like it. He went back to his blown up coffee machine. His premonitions were right, he'd forgotten again to carry the two. He went to his clipboard and started making some notes and some illustrations. He now knew what he needed to do to make this thing actually work. He almost forgot the two again, but when he rechecked his notes he found the error and started making his newly designed project.

Skipper's feeling had been right. This was the most unwisely decision he had ever made. They had got into big trouble and he really needed some options here. But without Kowalski, no one was able to give him these. He decided to make his own option, which made the situation worse before he could even think of one. What could he possibly do to get out of this?

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_i hope you are enjoying this story._


	3. Chapter 3: Phone Call

_Chapter 3 is finally here. The story is just starting, don't worry!_

_I hope you all enjoy this one._

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**Chapter 3: Phone Call**

Skipper's feeling had been right. This was the most unwisely decision he had ever made. They had got into big trouble and he really needed some options here. But without Kowalski, no one was able to give him these. He decided to make his own option, which made the situation worse before he could even think of one. What could he possibly do to get out of this?

Private left Marlene's habitat at midnight. He knew that Kowalski would be angry at him for staying up so late, but apparently, Kowalski was still in his lab. Private didn't bother to ask if he was going to bed too, since the scientist probably would just ignore him again. So he went to sleep.

Kowalski knew that it had been light out for almost 2 hours now, but his coffee machine kept bugging. He really couldn't figure out hwat was wrong with it. He slammed the clipboard to his head again and began reading his notes. The once so silenced HQ was suddenly filled with an irritating noise and Kowalski knew that it was their phone. He was a bit surprised that it had endured Skipper's last angry attack. He picked it up and answered the call. "Hello, Lieutenant Kowalski from Skippers HQ here, what can I do for you?" He listened when the penguin on the other line made his announcement. "Hello? Headquarters here, I've just received a call from Skipper. He needs immediately back up." Kowalski was puzzled, why would Skipper need back up? "Of course sir, where is his location?" The other penguin was silence for a moment. "He's in Denmark." Kowalski didn't know how to react. "De-Denmark sir? We are on our way." No need to panic now Kowalski, you can handle this. He sighed, he had to wake up Private now, a quick response was necessary.

He never felt so humiliated in his whole life. Calling for back up, it was the worst thing he ever had to do. But he knew he had to, they wouldn't even make it out alive if he didn't. He wasn't even sure if Rico was alive now. He rushed over to the motionless body of his friend.

"Private, wake up, please! Skipper needs us." Private woke from Kowalski's calls. "What's wrong Kowalski?" He yawned. "Skipper called for backup, he needs us now!" Kowalski seemed really worried. "Where are they?" Private knew that Skipper wouldn't call for backup if it wasn't necessary. He understood the importance of a quick response. "Denmark." He looked at Kowalski in shock. "Denmark? Really? But I don't want to go to…" He was slapped by Kowalski. "And this is why I'm normally Skippers reservist. Are we rolling or not?" Private was baffled. Kowalski was suggesting that he would lead this operation? Was he crazy? "But I'm just a private, I can't do this."

Kowalski sighed. "Of course you can Private, Skipper trusted you and he assigned you to this job, so you have to lead this mission." He looked at his younger companion. He changed his tone. "I know you can do this, so give your commands."

"Alright, commence operation: Save Skipper And Rico." They went out of the habitat, but once outside Private looked at the analyst. "Kowalski, how do we get to Denmark?" Kowalski knew that this was one of the hardest tasks. "We have to sneak on a plane. Then we receive orders where we have to move next." They didn't say anything more, they went to the airport. Once inside of the right plane, Private broke.

"I can't do this, I am no commander and I never can make this mission a success. Kowalski please help me!" He shouted. He was really broken, it felt like he had lost his mind. Kowalski slapped his face again. "Private, please calm down. I know that this is hard on you, but Skipper trusted you and he still does. Now he needs our help, are you letting him down?" Private looked at the scientist. "No I won't let him down! I have to do this." But the tears in his eyes betrayed him. He was still afraid.

He closed Rico's eyes. What had he done? It was his fault that Rico died, that he had to leave this world. Skipper closed his eyes and prayed for his friend. It was the least that he could do. He prayed for forgiveness, it was all his fault.

Private had not the faintest idea what was happening, but Kowalski immediately knew that this situation was very serious and probably even more dangerous. He looked at the little penguin, who was his commander now. It was preposterous, taking orders from such a young boy, some may call him a child. He was hugging a lunacorn. Kowalski couldn't help it, but he began to think that this mission would be suicide. He had to obey, because it were Skipper's orders. Skipper knew what he was doing right? A feeling of unease fell over Kowalski. Shouldn't he just disobey Skipper's orders? For the very first time in his life, he had more than enough options, but he had no idea which one he would choose.

He crossed Rico's flippers on his chest. Life must go on. He took some steps back from the body. He saluted. He would cry over the loss of his soldier when this mission was over.

Skipper never noticed the trail of blood he left when he waddled towards the exit of the tunnel.

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_I hope you are enjoying this story so far!_


	4. Chapter 4: Get Out Alive

_I finally finished this chapter!  
_

_I hope you all like it!_

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**Chapter 4: Get Out Alive**

He crossed Rico's flippers on his chest. Life must go on. He took some steps back from the body. He saluted. He would cry over the loss of his soldier when this mission was over.

Skipper never noticed the trail of blood he left when he waddled towards the exit of the tunnel.

What had he done? He had ordered his whole team into a mission close to suicidal. He was almost certain that the head quarters would send his team for backup. And he had left Private in charge. How could the boy cope with this situation? How would even Kowalski cope with it? Skipper didn't notice his own pain, his own wounds. The only thing that was on his mind was the safety of others.

Their plane had landed. They looked around. Standing by one of the other planes was a penguin, waiting for them. "Uncle Nigel?" Private cried. He was glad that he saw his uncle. He was sure that Nigel knew what he was doing.

Nigel was a bit surprised by the sight of Kowalski and his nephew. The head quarters had said that they would send highly trained soldiers because of the danger of the mission. With all the respect of the world for Skipper, his team wasn't exactly what he was thinking with 'highly trained' soldiers. He doubted if they were ready for this. They were known at the headquarters as the doomed team, with unwilling soldiers, lack of discipline and some very bad habits. He didn't know if it was true, but if the team needed Skipper. He feared that the gossips were right. Of course his nephew wasn't that bad, but he wasn't sure about the tall guy. He knew also that Skipper had been assigned to that team because of the head quarters liked to pick on him, since he always had his own ideas and would never really listen.

"Uncle Nigel! Are you helping us on the mission?" Private cuddled his uncle. The older penguin didn't reply immediately. "It sure looks like it." Nigel smiled at him.

Kowalski finally waked from the trance he was in. He hadn't said a word since they got on the plane, he was too busy with… He couldn't remember what he had been busy with. He gave it a chance of 99 percent that he would've been thinking. It was what he always did. "So, where are Skipper and Rico exactly?"

Nigel looked at him and decided that it was safe to tell him. "Skipper was assigned to take down Denmark's secret agency. Don't ask me why, but he was the only penguin on this job. I didn't know about it, and if I did, I would have stopped it. It's too much to ask from one penguin and his companion to take a whole agency down. It is even too much for Skipper. So our first aim is to get them out of there, hopefully alive."

It was hard for Skipper to leave Rico's body behind. But if he wanted to survive this mission, he had to move quick. Tears welled up in his eyes. He turned towards the body and saluted. It was the last thing he could do to honor his fallen soldier.

Kowalski showed Nigel his new tracking device, it was showing two red dots, at almost the same place. Indicating that Skipper and Rico were still together. That could mean two things: They were both death or they were both alive. Suddenly Skippers dot was moving. Rico's dot wasn't following him. Kowalski and Nigel stared in horror at each other. This could only mean one thing. "Rico is, is, d-death?"

The three penguins made it safely into the building. It was obvious that the Danes were at another place, probably trying to take Skipper down. Private hadn't the faintest idea how dangerous this situation was. He was behaving like they were on a mission to get snow cones.

Kowalski looked at his tracking device. They were hiding in a sort of tunnel, and it seemed like Skippers dot was moving towards them. He looked at the black end of the tunnel. He heard someone coming. He hoped with his whole heart that his device was right. It was. Skipper was almost there. He was obviously shocked about their presence. "Are you real?"

Skipper waddled towards Private and kicked him. The sound the young penguin made could only be made by him and at the same time he dropped the lunacorn toy he was holding. "Why did you do that Skippah?" This was obviously confirming that they were real and not some imposter's. Skipper's paranoid look faded from his face. "Thank god, you are here."

Skipper couldn't describe the feeling he had when he saw his friends and Nigel. He couldn't believe it. And when he didn't believe something, his paranoia would kick in. But they really were his friends. "We've been compromised. We had to flee into this tunnel , Rico…" He couldn't say it. It would make it real. His words would confirm his friend's death. It felt like his words would kill Rico again, just like he had done the last time with making that command. How could he have made such a big mistake?

Private looked down at Skipper's body. He was shocked by the sight of his leader. Skipper's whole body was covered in blood and he was shot too, in his side. His head was damaged, the half of his face was covered with wounds and burns. Blood poured out of his shot wound at his left side.

Skipper hadn't noticed any of it. He had been trained to look after himself when the mission was done. "What are the orders? Are we bringing this place down together or-?"

Nigel looked at him. "No. The orders are to get you out. They would like it if you stayed alive during the escape." Nigel had noticed the wounds of the penguin in front of him. It was a wonder that Skipper was able to even stand on his feet. He had already lost a great amount of blood and he was losing more with the second. Skipper objected immediately. "But that means that I've lost a good soldier for nothing! This is not fair." Nigel sighed. "When we get out, they announce a war, so he didn't die for 'nothing'. So if we can please move now!"

Skipper didn't like taking orders from others, he was used to give them. But he didn't object. The loss of Rico had made all his energy disappear. It should have been him, instead of Rico, dragged into this only because of his mission. He tried to ignore the stinging pain he felt. It was almost impossible. He felt his energy fading further from his body. He looked at himself, now that there was more light in the tunnel. He was covered with blood. He let his flipper ran over his side. He was shot! When had that happened? He supposed when he pulled Rico's death body in the tunnel.

Nigel knew that getting out of the building would be near suicide. He had his nephew, a well, he would have been surprised if he would take a bowling pin down. He had a scientist who was obviously not very good at fighting and a bit clumsy. And then he had Skipper. He sighed, knowing this was what he had to deal with. He was getting a bit worried about Skipper. The Skipper he knew from several years ago, wouldn't let him take the lead so easily. That Skipper would have knocked him almost out of this world. The Skipper he knew wouldn't waddle so silence between his men. He would have given them some orders, even if they were unnecessary. Nigel knew that the loss of blood was bringing the penguin down. Nigel would have paused to take care of Skipper's wounds, but they had to get out as quick as possible. The tunnel came to an end and they faced the exit. Or, they tried to face it, since the rivalry penguins were blocking the way. They had to knock them all out to get out of here. Nigel knew that if they waited any longer the Danes would go looking for them. He gave his order. "Let's clear the way!"

He felt his life fading away by every enemy he took down. His sight was blurred, but he had to go on. One down, another one down. He couldn't keep up the pace. He felt dizzy. Another one down. Suddenly the strongest of all the Danes jumped in front of him. Skipper knew that this was too much for him. He couldn't yell to the others for help, since they had to take down their own attackers. He had to keep up as long as possible. He was afraid that 'as long as possible' would be over very soon. His opponent was coming at him with increased speed. He managed to block some of the kicks, but the most were hitting his body.

He now knew that 'as long as possible' was no more. Everything went black when he still felt the kicks and beatings upon his body.

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_I hope you liked this chapter!_


	5. Chapter 5: Not So Bright Future

_Chapter 5 is done!_

_Enjoy!**  
**_

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**Chapter 5: Not So Bright Future**

Skipper knew that this was too much for him. He couldn't yell to the others for help, since they had to take down their own attackers. He had to keep up as long as possible. He was afraid that 'as long as possible' would be over very soon. 

He now knew that 'as long as possible' was no more. Everything went black when he still felt the kicks and beatings upon his body.

Nigel noticed the trouble Skipper was having. He gave his opponent a final devastating kick and slide over to Skipper. He was just in time to knock the enemy from Skipper's unconscious body. Skipper's blood was still pouring out of his body. Nigel defeated the leader, but more enemies were coming. Suddenly they heard a bang and several penguins came into the building. The head quarters had finally decided to sent the real backup in, the backup which had to take the place down. The backup that would finish the battle for them. Nigel called Private and Kowalski to him. Together they dragged Skipper out of the building and into the open air. Nigel saw the paramedics already waiting for them. Without saying a word they took Skipper's unconscious body and went to the hospital department of the head quarters. They dragged him into a plane. Private couldn't understand what was happening. How could they take his leader? Why did they leave them behind?

They didn't leave them behind, Nigel had ordered them to go away and to take care for Skipper. "We have to say goodbye now. I have to get back to head quarters. I will call you when there's more news about Skipper." He looked at his nephew, he softened his voice. "I am sure everything is going to be alright, Private." He gave him a hug and went aboard of another plane.

They felt totally lost without their leader or Rico. They had to wait for a sign from Nigel to go to Skipper. They couldn't do anything else than going back to New York.

"Skippah will be alright, don't you think Kowalski?" How could he possibly answer this question from the young boy. He looked at him with tear filled eyes. "I'm sorry Private, I don't know." But he did know, he had seen Skippers body, he had calculated the amount of blood loss. Skipper should have been death already. He closed his eyes. He didn't want to think, why did he always have to think? It felt that he could kill Skipper just by thinking about his injuries. He had to focus on the things that he could change. He had to get Private home, it wasn't safe here.

Private asked the same question over and over. Kowalski understood the anxiety of his companion, but he didn't want to think about Skipper or Rico. How was it possibly that he had been pondering about 'who is going to be the commander' while his friends were dying. Probably dying for him and Private. He decided to tell Private the truth, he couldn't deny it any longer. "I'm afraid Skipper is not okay Private. He has lost an incredible amount of blood, and we don't know if the bullet is still in his body and if there were any organs damaged. It doesn't look good."

He wished that he had never asked the question. He knew that Kowalski wasn't lying. He knew that this wasn't a nightmare. He wished it was. He wished that everything was wrong, his own senses, his friend, his memories, his future. He wished that he could go back in time.

There was a knock on the door. Private and Kowalski looked at each other, they didn't want to see anyone, how were they supposed to keep this classified? It was just so horrible and they weren't even at their HQ for more than 10 minutes.

"Hey! Are you ready for game night?!" Marlene came dashing into the penguins HQ. Her smile faded away by the look of the two penguins in front of her. "What's wrong guys? Where are Skipper and Rico?"

How could they tell her what has happened. They didn't know about what was classified and what not. Kowalski decided to point out the basics. "Skipper and Rico went on a mission. Everything went wrong. Rico died. And Skipper is barely alive." Tears appeared in Kowalski's eyes.

His words had baffled Marlene. She knew that the penguins had some sort of commando thing, but that meant to her receiving snow cones and 'helping' other animals. How could they possibly get hurt on such a mission? Maybe they really were commando's and not playing like it. She looked the scientist into his eyes. "Will Skipper make it?" Kowalski tried to speak, but he found himself unable to do so.

At that very moment, the telephone rang. Private waddled towards it. "Hello?" He didn't feel like doing the telephone thing that Skipper taught him. It felt unnecessarily. He heard Nigel's voice.

"You'd better come as soon as possible. They can't help him, they aren't even sure if he would hold on for another hour." How can you react when you hear something like this on the telephone. His world was falling apart before his own eyes and he could not do anything to make it stop. It really was true, Uncle Nigel's words had convinced him. "Kowalski, we have to go now. He's dying."

Private didn't exactly know if he wanted to see his dying friend. He had so much memories about the good times they spent together… How could he possibly handle seeing his friend die before his own eyes. Before his own eyes, without any chance of saving him.

Marlene looked at them leaving. She couldn't believe it that her friend was dying. This can't be. It just can't. She would call off game night. Continuing was unimaginable. She knew that Skipper hated the game nights, but he would always join her and help her if she asked him. Or he would just annoy her by telling her that everything she was doing was wrong. Who would now tell her that everything she did was wrong? Who would help her when she needed help? She knew that the other two penguins were still alive and still living in the zoo, but they weren't Skipper.

Why did it had to happen to Skipper? To her friend?

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_How did you like it?_


	6. Chapter 6: Heartbeats

_So, here is chapter 6.  
_

_Enjoy!_**  
**

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**Chapter 6: Heartbeats**

Marlene looked at them leaving. She couldn't believe it that her friend was dying. This can't be. It just can't. Continuing was unimaginable. Who would now tell her that everything she did was wrong? Who would help her when she needed help?

Why did it had to happen to Skipper? To her friend?

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He heard something beep slowly.

It beeped steadily.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Where was he? He tried to open his eyes. He tried to see, but everything was too white. He closed his eyes again.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He felt the needle of the IV. He felt the oxygen tube into his nose.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He noticed people talking. He couldn't hear them, they were too far away.

Beep.

He tried to open his eyes again. The white surroundings didn't blind him this time. He looked around and saw that he was surrounded by bleeping machines.

Beep.

Beep.

That beeping was getting on his nerves. He really wanted it to stop.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He felt weak and tired, as if he had just finish a marathon. He felt a stinging pain in his side. He was dizzy.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

A nurse waddled towards him. "How are you feeling sir?" She asked. He was unable to answer her. So he just waited until the nurse removed his oxygen tube.

Beep.

He felt suddenly nauseous, dizzy. He had to breathe on his own, but he couldn't. It felt like he was suffocating. His heart raced in his chest. He panicked.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

The beeping went faster, doctors came rushing to his side. He felt them trying to put the oxygen tube back, but they failed. The pain in his chest got worse. He was about to lose his life. He fell down to his pillow. The last thing he heard was a long steady beep of the heart monitor.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Doctors came rushing by. They all ran towards one room. That could only mean that one of the patient had a heart failure. Nigel didn't really care as long as Skipper would be okay. His nephew would be broken if he lost his friend. He came to a halt immediately. The doctors had run into Skipper's room. Skipper was the one with a cardiac arrest. "Not this soon, Skipper, hold on. Hold on for your friends, for my nephew." He whispered while running towards the room of the penguin.

The scene unfolding before Nigel's eyes was unimaginable. He couldn't believe that Skipper was leaving now, when his friends were rushing to get by his side. Tears filled his eyes. Nigel never cried, but he couldn't hold himself back. He had known that Skipper would die. He had known it from the first time he had seen him in the tunnel. But he had always had some hope that the penguin would survive. The penguin was very strong.

The doctors were still trying to save his life. They were putting a mask over his beak. They rolled the defibrillator towards Skipper. They were shocking counted the times they shocked Skipper. 1, 2, 3. He closed his eyes. 4, 5. The doctors were still shocking him, interspersed with CPR. 6, 7. Nigel turned around. The long beep was getting on his nerves.

He didn't want to hear it anymore.

A tear ran down his cheek.

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_..._


	7. Chapter 7: Go Along With The Storm

Here's chapter 7.

It includes a Dutch song, from Ramses Shaffy. It's called 'Als het stormt'. (translation: When it storms)

I put the translation under every Dutch line.

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 7: Go Along With The Storm**

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

He didn't want to hear it anymore.

A tear ran down his cheek.

Als 't stormt rond je schip

_When it storms round your ship_

Ga mee, ga mee

_Go along, Go along_

Met de storm die je voert naar een wilde zee

_With the storm which guides you to a wild sea_

Want de macht is te groot

_Because the power is too much_

En te klein is jouw boot

_Your ship is too small_

En de tijd zal 't getij weer keren

_And the time will let the tide turn_

Als 't stormt in je hoofd

_When there's a storm in your head_

Ga mee, ga mee

_Go along, Go along,_

Met de storm die je voert naar een andere ree

_With the storm which guides you to go on another tack_

En verzet je maar niet tegen 't verdriet

_Don't resist against the grief_

Want de tijd zal 't getij weer keren

_Because the time will let the tide turn_

The doctor tried his best to get Skippers heart back to the steady beating it once did. There was no response. "Clear!" How many times had they already shocked the body? Nigel knew that with every second, every time he heard the machine loading for another boost, every time he heard the doctor call "Clear!", it would mean that there was no way of getting Skipper back. He opened his eyes, he looked at the doctors, at the penguin laying there, at the nurses who were running from and towards the bed. He looked at everything happening before his eyes. He knew it was too late. One nurse was walking towards the heart rate monitor. She was about to turn it off. The doctor gave Skipper one last shock. Nigel turned away. How would he bring this news to his nephew?

He never noticed the beeping of the heart monitor or the sighs of relief from the doctors. He tried to waddle out of the room, but a doctor jumped in front of him. "Sir, I have to report about Skipper's condition." Nigel got angry, it was not the moment to point out the obvious. "I know, he's dead. Please let me finish my own business now." The doctor looked puzzled. "Sir, the penguin lives. I only have to tell you that I don't know how much longer he will. It seems like he's in a sort of coma." Nigel looked at him. "So, he's not death?" The doctor nodded. "Not yet. But I have to tell you that his organs are failing, his heart will fail soon again and I'm almost certain that he won't wake up again. It may be time to say goodbye and to let him go."

Nigel calculated the time it would cost for his nephew and Kowalski to get there. "Try to keep him alive for a little longer." He looked at the clock hanging on the white wall opposite of them. They would arrive soon. He walked towards the penguin and sat down beside his bed.

Private's cold feeling had increased, he was shivering. He knew that this was a bad sign. But he wouldn't give in to it. He had to believe and to hope that everything would be alright. Skipper couldn't die. Suddenly, he felt a bit warmer. He felt more at ease. He sighed.

Kowalski looked at the little penguin who was sitting beside him in the little pink car. He looked exhausted, anxious and he shivered. He focused on the road again. Just a little further, they were almost at the head quarters. He parked the car. They stepped out of it and went inside of the large building.

Normally, Private would have enjoyed their trip through the head quarters, he loved watching others doing 'important' stuff. There were penguins everywhere, but a smile was nowhere to be found. Kowalski guided him towards Skippers room.

He had heard someone talking to him. "You have to hold on Skipper, you have to. Private and Kowalski should be here any second now." He had the idea that he knew the voice talking to him, but he couldn't place it. "Just hold on for a little longer, they need to say their goodbyes. Then you can go, just hold on." Skipper was shocked by these words. Go?! To where exactly? He tried to move, but couldn't. The voice talking to him sounded desperate, but why and to who belonged it? This constant beeping was really irritating him. The beeping speeded.

Kowalski opened the door, revealing a white room, with one bed. In that bed lay Skipper. He seemed really small, his feathers were clean, but dull. His eyes were shut. His flipper was bandaged. Nigel was sitting beside him. Suddenly the beeping went faster and several doctors came dashing into the room. They all waddled towards Skipper, taking his pulse and looking at his eyes. "He's waking up." The doctor sounded more surprised than happy. Kowalski waddled towards the bed.

The three penguins sat beside the bed in complete silence, waiting for their friend to wake.

He opened his eyes. He saw Private, Kowalski and Nigel sitting around him. He couldn't do anything else but watching the other penguins. He was glad that they were safe. He tried to speak to them, but his oxygen tube prevented him from making a sound. A doctor waddled over to them. "Let me take this for you." He felt the pressure in his chest rising immediately. It was a horrible feeling, making it hard to breathe. He felt dizzy. But he managed to smile to his friends and tried to talk to them. "How are you guys?" His voice was hoarse and bearable noticeable. It took almost all of his power to say those words.

Private was the first one to answer. "We are alright Skippah, we are more worried about you." He felt his eyes filling with tears. Seeing his leader and his friend in so much pain was horrible for the little penguin. The gut feeling still hadn't disappeared, on the contrarily, it got worse. He flung himself upon his leaders chest, hugging him. "Skippah, don't go. Don't go, please hold on, hold on for us. Don't go!" He was about to lose his mind. He knew that his friend was dying.

Skipper had immense difficulty breathing, and Private clenching on his chest wasn't making this easier. He felt his heart racing, the dizziness was overwhelming him. He felt himself falling back, everything went blurred. If he wanted to say his goodbyes, he had to do it now. He wouldn't get another chance. "I'm so …" He was suffocating, he was unable to finish his last sentence. The pain grew to immense proportions.

Private couldn't stop hugging Skipper. He was so glad to be with him again. Suddenly he felt Skipper's grasp thighten. He heard him say something. "I'm so…" The grasp loosened. Skippers flippers fell back onto the bed.

It was his final battle. The battle everyone would lose. He had to go with it. He fell back in complete darkness. He felt the pain fading away. He relaxed. It was over, he had finally lost his battle. The battle of his own life.

Want de klip gaat niet opzij

_Because the cliff won't move_

En de wind gaat niet opzij

_The wind won't move_

Je schip maakt haast slagzij

_Your ship is almost tilting_

Want de storm kan niet voorbij

_Because the storm can't get over_

Het geweld, het gevaar en de angst die hoort erbij

_The violence, the danger and the fear is a part of it_

Je hulpkreet hoort erbij

_Your cries are a part of it_

Maak de zeilen nu maar vrij

_Make the sails free_

Als 't stormt in je hart

_If there's a storm in your heart_

Ga mee, ga mee

_Go along, Go along_

Met de storm die je voert naar een wilde zee

_With the storm which guides you to a wild sea_

Zet het anker niet uit

_Don't let the anchor down_

Red niet je huid

_Don't save your skin_

Want de tijd zal 't getij weer keren...

_Because the time shall turn the tide…_

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_...  
_


	8. Chapter 8: Cleaning Up

_So here's chapter 8._

_I had some trouble with the raw version, so I changed almost the whole story from this point._

_Enjoy the next chapter!_

* * *

**Chapter 8: Cleaning Up**

Private couldn't stop hugging Skipper. He was so glad to be with him again. Suddenly he felt Skipper's grasp tighten. He heard him say something. "I'm so…" The grasp loosened. Skippers flippers fell back onto the bed.

It was his final battle. The battle everyone would lose. He had to go with it. He fell back in complete darkness. He felt the pain fading away. He relaxed. It was over, he had finally lost his battle. The battle of his own life.

Beep, beep, beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Doctors rushed towards Skippers body, throwing Private from him. They shocked him. Again, again, again. His body rose and fell with every shock, but it didn't help. The nurse waddled towards the heart monitor. She turned it off. She removed the IV, pulled the blankets over Skipper's body.

Kowalski was looking at the scene unfolding before his eyes. He couldn't understand what just happened. His friend gone? It all went to fast. How could Skipper die? He always expected Skipper to live through everything. He turned away from the scene. If he just closed his eyes, maybe the pain would go away. Maybe if he just turned around, he would face another world.

Private clenched on to Nigel's chest, unable to understand what was happening. He tried to see his friend, but Nigel covered his eyes. The bad feeling he had disappeared. Instead, he felt nothing.

The doctor got him out of his trance. "Sir,I have to inform you about the funeral. The head quarters are providing it. It takes place in five days." How could the doctor mention this now? He looked at Nigel, who was still comforting Private. How could he take care for this boy? He felt miserable. His two best friends had just died, and he was left with Private alone. Suddenly a penguin stood before him. "You are Kowalski?"

Nigel's worst fear just became reality. He saw Boris walking into the room. Boris was always one of the best soldiers the head quarters had known, just like Skipper. But Boris was harsh on his team members. He wouldn't let them have any spare time. All of his soldiers had cracked fast. The most killed themselves, some tried to kill Boris. He knew that Boris would be the new commander of Kowalski and his nephew. They wouldn't last a month, but what could he do? When the head quarters made a decision, then no one was able to change that. Well not any more.

Private felt the sudden change of atmosphere in the room. He looked at the newly arrived penguin. His face was covered with scars. One of his eyes had a grey color and the other one was green. The eyes looked at them without a trace of emotion. "So you are Kowalski? Then I suppose that you're Private. 'Day Nigel." The man nodded. His uncle nodded back. His facial expression was blank, but Private felt that his uncle was not pleased with the appearance of the man. "Since your previous commanding officer died, I got the pleasure of cleaning up after him. That means that you'll obey every command I give to you. You speak to me as commanding officer Boris, or just commanding officer."

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_I hope you enjoyed this chapter!_


	9. Chapter 9: Faults

_Here's chapter 9, i hope you like it!_**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Faults**

Private felt the sudden change of atmosphere in the room. He looked at the newly arrived penguin. His face was covered with scars. One of his eyes had a grey color and the other one was green. The eyes looked at them without a trace of emotion. "Since your previous commanding officer died, I got the pleasure of cleaning up after him. That means that you'll obey every command I give to you. You speak to me as commanding officer Boris, or just commanding officer."

Kowalski stared in shock at the penguin before him. This wasn't true. His previous leader was barely dead and they had already sent his replacement? He wasn't sure if he liked the man. Boris? Where had he heard that name before? The lifeless form of his best friend laid behind the penguin. Under the sheets. Nobody was able to see his body. It was like he was already forgotten.

"If you don't mind agent Nigel, I have to talk to my new team." An unpleasant smile appeared on his face. "So, boys are you ready for a change? I know your previous commanding officer wasn't someone to look up to, but don't you worry boys. There's a new sheriff in town."

Kowalski couldn't believe it. He was talking about Skipper as if he was a filthy animal. And that in the same room were Skipper just had died. His body was still laying there. He couldn't take it. "Do you mind showing some respect?" He knew that he had to be careful with this guy, but he already hated him.

Private looked up from the ground. Did Kowalski just try to insult someone? It didn't was something Kowalski would do. Private looked at Boris. It was crystal clear that Boris didn't appreciate Kowalski attitude.

"So you think that _you_ can determine what, when and where I do something? This confirms my point exactly. Skipper has trained you poorly. " Boris smiled again, a red flickering showed in his eyes.

Kowalski couldn't take it anymore. He flung himself upon Boris. It was a big mistake, Boris had him on his back before he could even throw a punch. "Did you really think that you could take me? Really?" A cold laughter escaped his beak. Kowalski flinched. "You'd better watch out mister. Or I will make your life a living hell. Understood?" Kowalski just laid there. Not doing anything. He wouldn't give in. He would fight, fight for Skipper.

"So, do you even understand the English language? Or are you too stupid to talk?" Private couldn't help it, he felt so miserable, he had to cry. He couldn't take it anymore. First his friend died and now this penguin was hurting Kowalski. His sobs grew louder. His tears streamed faster, his body was shaking. "Can you stop the theater please?" Boris yelled at Private while throwing a punch at Kowalski. "And if you go on ignoring me, I will kick you into next week. So do you understand me?"

Kowalski looked into the eyes. The eyes who belonged to the monster in front of him. If he killed me now, I'm with Skipper and Rico again. Please let him kill me, I don't want to stay here, not with him as my superior. "So, you've made your decision then?" Boris punched him, kicked him. The pain rushed through his body, but he didn't care. All the pain Boris caused to his body seemed to numb the emotional pain of the loss of his friends. Suddenly Boris stopped. The look on his face was one of pure anger and hatred. "I know what you are doing, you are trying to let me kill you. Well, you've just made one of the biggest mistakes of your life."

Boris grabbed the feathers on Kowalski's chest and pulled him upon his feet. "You are going to regret that you even exist. You will wish that you were never born. I have ways to break smart guys like you, just wait and see." Boris smiled maniacally at him and then turned to Private. "And please boy, GROW UP!" Boris waddled furious out of the room, slamming the door behind him

Nigel had seen everything, he had even heard most of it through the window. He couldn't help them, Boris controlled the whole headquarters. With one word he could fire you, or get you killed. Or get somebody you loved killed. He felt sorry for his nephew and the large penguin. He walked into the room. "Are you alright?" He asked the scientist.

Kowalski knew that he had made a big mistake, but he didn't regret it. He would never work for such penguin, never. He waddled over to Private, who was sitting in the corner of the room. Still crying, shaking with fear. They were exhausted. They had nowhere to go, nowhere safe to rest.

Kowalski looked at the white covers. Covering the body of their once brave and kind leader. The only commanding officer he would ever serve. He waddled towards the bed. He knew that Skipper would want them to carry on like men. But Kowalski already knew that he couldn't. The tears filled his eyes.

"Why can't he just come back, why did he had to go." The little penguin asked the scientist. Kowalski turned to face his friend. "Private… I don't know. I-" A cold feeling fell over him. The words of the little penguin just made it real. Too real. He looked away. He wouldn't come back, he wouldn't save them. And it was all his fault. If he had been on the mission with Skipper, he could have helped him. He would have saved Skipper and Rico and they would be all together again. He would have used one of his inventions. It was all his fault. He couldn't take it, his world was falling apart because of him. He fell to his knees. He held his head in his flippers.

His.

Fault.

He didn't think about the little penguin. The penguin who sat in the corner of the white room. The penguin who just had lost someone who was almost as a father for him. The penguin who had lost one of his best friends. The penguin who saw his last friend getting consumed by misery. The little penguin didn't notice the flipper who was placed upon his shoulder. He didn't even notice that he was carried out of the room by two loving flippers. It was like his soul just disappeared, with all his senses.

His eyes closed.

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_..._


	10. Chapter 10: Decency

_Please enjoy the next chapter!**  
**_

_(I've fixed the Boris/Doris mix up. Sorry, got a bit confused myself XD)  
_

* * *

**Chapter 10: Decency**

"Why can't he just come back, why did he had to go." The little penguin asked the scientist. Kowalski turned to face his friend. "Private… I don't know. I-" A cold feeling fell over him. The words of the little penguin just made it real. Too real. He looked away. He wouldn't come back, he wouldn't save them. And it was all his fault. If he had been on the mission with Skipper, he could have helped him. He would have saved Skipper and Rico and they would be all together again. He would have used one of his inventions. It was all his fault. He couldn't take it, his world was falling apart because of him. He fell to his knees. He held his head in his flippers.

His.

Fault.

Nigel knew that they had nowhere to stay. He decided to take them to his apartment. It was just a mile away from the head quarters, so they could stay there until the funeral. Nigel had carried Private all the way to his apartment and he laid him in his bed. The penguin needed his sleep now. The scientist had followed him. By one look at his face Nigel knew that the penguin was broken. But he couldn't help it, he was angry at him. He snapped at the large bird. "What did you think you were doing? Are you out of your mind? You knew that even Skipper couldn't take him, why did you do this?"

Wait, Skipper couldn't take Boris? What did Nigel mean with that? "Skipper knew Boris?" Skipper never told them about Boris. Well, now he thought about it, Skipper had used the name Boris some times. But he didn't remember in what context. Apparently Nigel had been talking to him, but he hadn't heard him. "-And so you better be cautious when he's around." Nigel looked at him. Kowalski knew that he had to give a sign that he had heard the secret agent before him. He nodded.

Nigel had seen the blank expression on the penguin's face. He hadn't heard a word. Maybe it's for the better. He pointed at the couch in the room. "Do you mind sleeping over there?" The large penguin didn't reply.

He felt so numb, he was frozen. He heard something, but he didn't understand it. His vision became blurred. He felt dizzy. Everything spun around him. He felt himself falling to his knees before losing consciousness.

He should have seen it coming, Nigel knew that Kowalski suffered from an emotional break-through. Still it was a shock to see him collapse before his eyes. He was just in time to prevent the body of the scientist from falling to the ground. Nigel lifted him and lay him upon the couch. So now he had to deal with these two before Boris came to 'break' them. It was something Boris always did with his new recruits. This breaking meant training. A real harsh training. Nigel thought about the two penguins laying in his apartment. How could they possibly survive Boris? But he knew that he couldn't help them.

Where was he? Was he captured by someone evil? Where was the rest of the team? Kowalski looked bewildered around him. It took some minutes to remember all the things that had happened the day before. But he remembered. He remembered the body of his friend, their new commanding officer, his grief. He remembered the fight. Why did he had to get himself in trouble? Skipper would be disappointed. His eyes filled with tears. Skipper… He can't be gone. It. Just. Can't. He knew that his leader and friend would still be alive if he hadn't made those mistakes. He knew that it was all his fault. He felt the sadness taking over again, it was a different sadness than the one he had endured before. He wasn't good enough, not for this world. He knew he had to make Skipper proud, but he couldn't. He was worthless.

The door opened. The penguin looked around the room. He smiled a little by the sight of the scientist in front of him. It should take him not more than a couple of minutes to break that one.. He silently laughed.

Nigel heard the door open when he was showering. He knew that Boris had the key to every apartment in the head quarters, but he had hoped that Boris would show some decency and just wait and knock. He should have known that Boris and decent were two things which never could go together. He dried his feathers before running into the room. "Boris how do you dare coming in my apartment without even knocking!" Boris smiled at him. "You aren't in the position to make commands right here Nigel, even if this is your own house."

Private woke with the sound of angry voices. "Nigel?" He asked sleepily before opening his eyes. He jumped out of his bed, and waddled towards his uncle. He looked with his big blue eyes at them. "What's happening?"

Boris smiled in this maniacal evil way. "You and that genius over there are coming with me for your first, training."

Kowalski noticed the short break between first and training indicating that 'training' wouldn't be something pleasant. And he had the feeling that Boris would make him pay. Well, he didn't have the feeling, he knew that Boris would seek his revenge. And he would probably want it now.

"Are you two coming? Or do you want me to make my words clear to you with some body language?"

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_I hope that you are liking this story so far,_

_I know I'm liking your reviews, thank you!_


	11. Chapter 11: Breaking

_So, here's chapter 11.  
_

_I hope that I didn't mix up any names this time XD_**  
**

_Have fun!  
_

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**Chapter 11: Breaking**

Boris smiled in this maniacal evil way. "You and that genius over there are coming with me for your first, training."

Kowalski noticed the short break between first and training indicating that 'training' wouldn't be something pleasant. And he had the feeling that Boris would make him pay. Well, he didn't have the feeling, he knew that Boris would seek his revenge. And he would probably want it now.

"Are you two coming? Or do you want me to make my words clear to you with some body language?"

They entered the trainings facility of the head quarters. The room was large, it had a swimming pool inside. There were some tables with weaponry upon them. Boris had almost dragged them out of Nigel's apartment. Private was shocked by the behavior of the penguin. How could someone be so cruel? Boris gave them an order. "I want you to fight me. One on one, large one, you go first."

Kowalski hadn't paid any attention to the commanding officer. He was tired of thinking, but his mind wouldn't stop. The same questions ran through his head, over and over again. Why? How? Those two questions, the questions of life. How can you live without your best friend? How can you just go on and forget about it. The first kick of Boris didn't surprise him. He just hadn't calculated it and hadn't seen it coming. But a surprise? No. All the surprises that life had for him were gone. There were just these questions. The same questions. Another punch, in his stomach. Why? A kick against his head. Why? He opened his eyes and saw Boris coming for him again. But this time the bird said something to him. "You're wondering if not fighting back would help ya, right? Well, big mistake mister, I will just leave you here and go on with your little friend over there." He didn't care, He didn't care about anything. Not anymore.

Suddenly he saw the little penguin. He was crying, but not over the loss of his friend. No. Kowalski knew that he was crying about what was happening now, what was happening to him and his friend. The little penguin was stronger than that he was. Private wasn't lingering in the past.

Private saw his only remaining friend taking the punches. Not fighting back. He wanted to help Kowalski, but knew that if he did so, he would be shattered to pieces by Boris. He started to cry. He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to see his friend suffer. He was afraid of what was coming next. He was afraid of what Boris could do to them.

Kowalski felt the anger rise in his chest, he felt that he was able to kill this penguin before him. He threw himself in the fight. "That's more like it!" Boris yelled. Boris came faster at him, he became more accurate, while Kowalski was fighting with pure rage, no tactics and his failing instincts.

The normally wise penguin had made a big mistake. Boris speeded everything up, laughing at him. "Is this the best you've got? I know that Skipper haven't trained you properly, but this is just pathetic." The smile on the penguins face widened by seeing Kowalski's increasing anger. Boris was driving him to the edge of insanity. That's what Boris wanted. To feel the bird crack under his wings. Boris saw the first signs of exhaustion taking over the scientists body. He knew that he was almost at the breaking point. He backed away.

Kowalski felt all the energy flowing out of his body. He knew that this was exactly like Boris's plan, but he was afraid for what was coming next. The questions in his mind were replaced by sorrow. He saw the little bird. Still watching them. Kowalski knew that he had disappointed Skipper. He knew that his former leader would have wanted him to look after the penguin. Prevent that something like this would happen to him. Suddenly, Boris stopped fighting. Kowalski noticed that he had stopped fighting himself too. He was too tired to fight. He noticed that he was laying on the ground. He looked up at the bird above him. "Let's start with your little buddy. You, sit down." Boris turned towards Private. "You, here. NOW!"

He didn't want to fight, but he had no choice. He looked at the eyes of his commanding officer. "Pl- please sir, I don't want to-" Boris laughed at him. "Who said something about wanting?" Private felt the first punches hitting his body. He tried to block them. But he failed. But he wouldn't give up this easily. He tried to remember everything Skipper taught him. He managed to block Boris four times. He wasn't going to give up. Not now, not ever. He looked at the face of the penguin before him. The expression on the face had changed. He wasn't looking that self-fulfilled anymore. His eyes had that glowing red in them, and in normal circumstances, Private would have been afraid of that. Now it was like a trigger. He corkscrewed at the penguin. Hitting him hard on the head. But Boris was stronger and had more experience in fighting than he had. Private had to take his beatings.

Boris was a bit surprised by the fighting of the little bird. It was like he was fighting with Skipper once again. Like he had done a million times. His smile faded. This one is going to be a hard one to break, but Boris was certain he could do it. Eventually.

Private wasn't feeling anything when Boris stopped their fight. He felt no pain, no grief. He felt numb, as if he was unable to understand what was going on. He turned away from Boris and waddled back to Nigel's apartment. He ignored the shouts of his commander.

Boris looked at the little penguin waddling away from him. Ignoring him. He felt anger rising in his body, taking over his mind. He took a knife from the table beside him. He ran towards the back of the little penguin.

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_I hope that you are enjoying this story!_


	12. Chapter 12: Noticing

_So here's chapter 12, have fun!_**  
**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Noticing**

Boris looked at the little penguin waddling away from him. Ignoring him. He felt anger rising in his body, taking over his mind. He took a knife from the table beside him. He ran towards the back of the little penguin.

"Private! Watch out!" Private turned. He saw Boris running towards him with a large knife. He panicked, but managed to duck the knife. He kicked Boris in his stomach, but it didn't help him. Boris stabbed his knife into the little penguins chest.

He had a nice morning walk before he had to go to the gym. He hoped that Boris was done with his 'training', it would make it hard to concentrate if his nephew would be broken by Boris in the same room as where he was training. Nigel opened the door. A scene was playing for his eyes. He saw the knife in his nephew's chest and Kowalski trying to keep Boris from damaging Private's body even further. Nigel jumped in the fight, knocking Boris to the ground, tying a rope around his flippers. "What have you done?"

Kowalski couldn't hold on any longer. Boris really was out of his mind. Suddenly, Nigel threw himself into the fight. Kowalski managed to get out of the fight. He ran towards the penguin laying on the ground. "Private, hold on, you have to hold on!" He felt for the pulse of his friend. His heart was still beating. He rammed the emergency button which was placed inside every room in the head quarters.

He opened his eyes, the stinging pain in his chest made it hard for him to breathe. He saw Kowalski's face above him. "K-Kowalski? Help me, please help me." His voice was barely audible. Kowalski examined his wound.

Kowalski knew that it would end soon, the knife was stabbed in the area of his heart. And if the knife hadn't hit his heart, it would've hit his lungs. Meaning that he would drown in his own blood, if he took the knife out. "Kowalski, I'm afraid. Please say that everything's going to be okay, please Kowalski." He couldn't bear looking at another one of his friends die. He turned around. "Kowalski?" He looked without seeing anything. "Help me." He waddled away. "Please…" The medics were rushing past him. He looked at Nigel, who had managed to get Boris to the ground.

Private felt that the dizziness taking over, he felt himself drowning in the blackness. Why wouldn't Kowalski help him? Why had Boris attacked him with a knife? He felt flippers lifting his body from the ground. "Why didn't Kowalski help me?" He felt himself fading away, he gave in. He lost consciousness.

Nigel looked around, seeing that the medics had finally arrived. He had managed to get Boris to the ground. Medics were rushing in their way, together with some penguin agents. "Who stabbed the little guy?" They asked at Nigel and Boris. Nigel pointed at Boris. "He stabbed my nephew." Nigel noticed the smile at the face of the penguin who was still laying on the floor. Only he could hear the words coming from his mouth. "Big mistake, Nigel. Big mistake" They pulled Boris up and escorted him out of the room.

Nigel was missing something. He felt it, he looked around. Where was that scientist? He had always thought that Skipper would teach his team to stay together, after what happened to Manfredi and Johnson. He could hear him say it again. "Trust me, Manfredi, what could go wrong?" He saw the faces of Skippers former team. He couldn't help it, but he had to think about that time again. How could this possibly escalate so much? His nephew was carried away by the medics.

Kowalski waddled towards the exit of the room. He hadn't noticed anybody, just like nobody had noticed him. He should do it now. He had lost everything. He waddled out of the room. Nobody noticed the object he was holding in his flipper. Nobody noticed the cold expression on his face.

Nobody noticed him.

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_..._


	13. Chapter 13: Letting Go

_Here's chapter 13._

_I'm warning you, this is a bloody one._**  
**

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**Chapter 13: Letting Go**

Kowalski waddled towards the exit of the room. He hadn't noticed anybody, just like nobody had noticed him. He should do it now. He had lost everything. He waddled out of the room. Nobody noticed the object he was holding in his flipper. Nobody noticed the cold expression on his face.

Nobody noticed him.

He opened the door to Nigel's apartment. He knew that it wasn't the best place, but he didn't want to do it in a public place like a toilet or such. He sat down. He knew that Private's death was his fault. He had to protect the little penguin. He had failed. Now all his friends were gone forever. He was all alone in this cold harsh world. He looked around. Although the sun peeked through the curtains, he didn't feel the warmth of the rays on his body. He felt only those memories. He heard their names in his head. Rico. Skipper. Private. Manfredi. Johnson. He had to go too. It was his fault that they were gone, that they had endured all this pain. He should have died, not them. He looked at the long knife he was holding in his flippers. It wasn't an easy death. No.

This death was risky, there was always a change that they found him too soon. And then there was the chance of being unable to reach the right vein. He shivered, he really wanted to die now. He picked up the knife. Small drops of red liquid dripped from where he had set the knife in his flipper. This was the hardest part.

Ignoring the tingling pain he searched for the right vein. It was hard, he had to hit the right one, and it would be preferable to not hit any nerves, that would slow the process down.

Finally he found the right vein. He pushed the knife further in his wing. The pain was relieving him. It took away all of his guilt. He slowly pulled the knife into the direction of his heart, ripping his vein horizontally open. Blood was already pouring out. He smiled. Finally, he got what was coming for him. He saw his blood dripping to the floor. There was already a small puddle.

Time for the next one. He set the knife on the place of his vein. Pulled again to his heart. The knife cutted through his skin, even through his feathers. Blood stained his white chest. He found this vein a bit faster than the first one. He knew that it would take ten minutes before he would notice the first signs of his blood loss. He also knew that he was probably losing 1 liter per 10 minutes. That meant that it would take more than half an hour before he was death. He knew that there were easier ways of killing himself. He just hadn't thought about them. He looked at his flippers. They didn't even hurt that bad. He was already sitting in a puddle of blood. He calculated, he had 20 more minutes before his heart would fail.

He began feeling dizzy. He smiled, it was the beginning of the end. He laid down in the puddle of his own blood. His mind was for the first time not bothering him. He wasn't thinking about his friends. He wasn't thinking about science. He was just laying there. Waiting for the end, waiting for life showing him some mercy. He felt his heartbeat getting weaker. He closed his eyes. He sighed. Ten more minutes.

He was almost about to lose consciousness. His heart slowed even more. He relaxed, he felt tired. Tired of this life, but also tired of the amount of blood he had lost. Five more minutes.

He opened his eyes. He felt numb, he looked at the ceiling. "Goodbye world, I'm saved now." He was almost unable to see anything, his vision blurred even further. He closed his eyes again. He felt that his heart rate became unsteady. Breathing became hard. Two more minutes.

He counted the seconds. He was fading away slowly. Even painfully. But he didn't really felt it. He saw a bright light, appearing in front of him. He had finally found his shelter.

His smile widened, he sighed. One last time. His body relaxed, almost immediately.

His tormented brain had finally found some peace. He would never have to think again. Never had to feel anything again. He was gone.

All what was left was his body in a puddle of his own blood.

The knife still in his flipper.

The smile still on his face.

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_..._


	14. Chapter 14: Emotionless

_I know that the last chapters were short ones, well this one is short as well._

_Next one should be longer XD_

_Enjoy chapter 14!**  
**_

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**Chapter 14: Emotionless**

His smile widened, he sighed. One last time. His body relaxed, almost immediately.

His tormented brain had finally found some peace. He would never have to think again. Never had to feel anything again. He was gone.

All what was left was his body in a puddle of his own blood.

The knife still in his flipper.

The smile still on his face.

Nigel opened the door to Private's room in the hospital department. He had been here too often for his likings. He looked at the little penguin in the bed. He was glad that the doctors were able to fix him up. They said that it was a really lucky break. If the knife was placed only one centimeter to the right or left, or if it was stabbed a little bit harder, he wouldn't be okay.

He didn't want to, but he had to leave Private's side. He had to eat. He stood up. He waddled out of the room and towards his apartment. Where's that scientist? Nigel hadn't seen him since Private's accident. He opened the door.

There was the large penguin. Laying in a puddle of blood. Nigel rushed to his side. Felt for a pulse, he found none. The body was already cooling. Nigel pushed the emergency button.

He knew that he was the one who had to tell Private. But how? He felt sorry for his nephew. Private had lost almost everything he could lose. How could he possibly survive this? Nigel looked at the penguins coming into the room. They dragged the body away. Nigel looked at the face of the scientist, still smiling. He turned away from the body. He decided to go back to Private. His appetite had gone entirely.

The penguin in the bed was sleeping peacefully. He was dreaming. He saw Skipper, Rico and Kowalski. He waddled towards them. But backed away when he saw their faces. The eyes without pupils, the bloodstains all over their body. Still, it was comforting to be with them again. He smiled at them, but they didn't smile back. He looked at his leader. "Skippah, I'm glad to see you again." The leader looked at him. Then Skipper opened his mouth, like he was trying to say something, but the mouth closed almost immediately again. Rico and Kowalski waddled towards him, an emotionless look on their faces. Private backed away even further. Finally Skipper spoke. It wasn't his voice that surrounded him, it was a dark harsh low voice. It had a threatening sound. Private was frozen by the sound of the voice. But he couldn't understand what it said. Suddenly, he felt himself falling through the darkness, leaving him in a peaceful sleep.

Nigel felt lost, he couldn't find a way to tell his nephew that all of his friends were gone now. He had been thinking about it since the body was dragged out of his apartment. Private had missed Skipper's funeral. It was sad, but Nigel knew that if Skipper would have chosen his own funeral, that it wouldn't go this way. Flowers everywhere, old professors trying to read poems. Some music. No word about his friends, no word about the mission. Nigel was even glad that Private had missed it, it would have tarnished Private's memories of Skipper.

Private had been sleeping for over a week. The doctors said that was what the little penguin needed. They stuffed him with several drugs and painkillers. Nigel kept guard every day, he was the last thing that Private had.

"Nigel? Where's Kowalski?"

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_I want to thank you all for your reviews, so: Thank you!_


	15. Chapter 15: I Told You So

_No, I'm still not ending this story.  
_

_In fact, it feels like I'm just beginning. *evil laugh*_**  
**

_So here's chapter 15, enjoy!  
_

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**Chapter 15: I Told You So**

Months later

He opened his eyes. The same nightmare. Over and over and over again. He saw the faces of his friends constantly before his eyes. Why did they leave him? Why did they had to die? Nigel was the only one he had left. After he got released out of the hospital he started living with Nigel. He tried to forget everything what happened to his friends, but he found himself unable to do so.

Nigel had been worried about his nephew. He noticed the slight changes in his behavior. He would laugh when someone was hurt, didn't care or wait for others. He was never paying attention to anything. Always staring vaguely in front of him. Nigel heard the knock on the door. He opened the door, his officer was standing in front of him. "We need you two for a mission, nothing big, you just have to run an errand." Nigel nodded, then closed the door. He would receive further information through his ear-piece. "Private, you have to join me on this mission. We are leaving now." The penguin looked at him, and nodded slowly. "Of course, uncle. I'm right behind you."

It wasn't hard to complete the job. He just had to pick something up and return it to the head quarters. Nigel looked at his nephew, waddling beside him. It was like his soul was gone. Only his body was moving forward.

Suddenly, a penguin jumped in front of him. His green and grey eye looking at Nigel. "You will pay. I told you that you would. I'm always keeping my words." The smile which had been on the penguins his face widened. Boris pulled out a gun. "I." He shot one time in Nigel's leg. "Told." Another shot in Nigel's stomach. "You." Another bullet flung in Nigel's chest. "So." The last bullet made his way through Nigel's head.

Nigel saw Boris when it was already too late. He tried to push Private out-of-the-way. It was clear that Boris wanted him. He looked at the penguin in front of him. He knew that Boris would try to end his life. He knew that he eventually had to pay for what he had done to that penguin. In fact he knew that everything was his fault. If he hadn't pushed Skipper to do so, Boris wouldn't be here, not in this way. He felt the bullets piercing through his flesh. He looked at his nephew. He felt sorry for all the pain he had caused to the little penguin's life.

Private stopped, he felt anger and fear rising in his chest. His uncle sunk to the floor. Nigel's eyes were fixed upon Private. "I'm proud of you, always remember that Private. Always" His uncle closed his eyes. "Nigel! Don't go! Please, don't! Stay with me!" He looked at the penguin who was standing there. Looking at them. The grin was still on his face. "One day, you will understand. One day, you will thank me." Boris turned around and waddled away.

Private wrapped his arms around Nigel's body. He felt something snap. Something deep inside. He felt more mature, but there was another feeling. He couldn't describe it. His grip around the death penguin tightened. His tears dried.

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_..._


	16. Chapter 16: Gone Forever

_I have included the song Gone Forever, from Three Days Grace.  
_

_As you can guess, the title was based on that song XD  
_

_Enjoy!_**  
**

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**Chapter 16: Gone Forever**

"You will pay. I told you that you would. I'm always keeping my words." The smile which had been on the penguins his face widened. Boris pulled out a gun. "I." He shot one time in Nigel's leg. "Told." Another shot in Nigel's stomach. "You." Another bullet flung in Nigel's chest. "So." The last bullet made his way through Nigel's head.

Private wrapped his arms around Nigel's body. He felt something snap. Something deep inside. He felt more mature, but there was another feeling. He couldn't describe it. His grip around the death penguin tightened. His tears dried.

_Don't know what's going on  
Don't know what went wrong  
Feels like a hundred years I  
Still can't believe you're gone  
So I'll stay up all night  
With these bloodshot eyes  
While these walls surround me with the story of our life_

He turned around. The walls seemed to close in around him. He felt himself getting slightly claustrophobic. He wished that he hadn't come back to this place. His first prize plague against the wall. Those four empty bunks. All the memories. He knew that they were gone, but being here in this place made it so unreal. He expected Kowalski to burst out of his lab, yelling "EUREKA!". He expected to see Skipper sitting at the table playing cards with Rico. What went wrong? Why had it all to change? He hadn't slept for days and he knew that he wouldn't sleep this night too. He sat down, watching everything around him. Everything was telling him a story, and all together they told him the story of his own once happy life.

All the times they fought off those bad guys. All those times they made fun together. All those days they spend on training. They were like brothers for him. He could almost see their faces in front of him. Like pale ghosts. But when he blinked, they were gone. He had to remember himself constantly that they were gone forever, that he was the only one left. He sat down at the table. He remembered the fight he had with Kowalski on the last night... The fight about who should be the commander. They hadn't parted as a team. They hadn't said their goodbyes like they should have done.

_I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever_

He shouldn't dwell on those past days. He shouldn't miss them. They were gone forever, never to return to life. But he couldn't. He told himself that he wasn't missing them. That he could go on alone. But where could he go? What should he do? How could he forget about his past, their past? He knew that they wanted him to go on. He knew that he had to forget them. He had to go on.

_First time you screamed at me  
I should have made you leave  
I should have known it could be so much better  
I hope you're missing me  
I hope I've made you see  
That I'm gone forever  
_

He remembered the times at the HQ. All the times he did something wrong. All the times someone else did something wrong. All that yelling, never time for fun, never being appreciated. He should have left the team before this happened. It would have spared him years of his life. He felt that snapping feeling again. But this time was different. He changed, as if all that was once loving disappeared from his body, from his mind. It wasn't his fault that he was all alone now. He felt cold and lonely inside, but he didn't care. He wanted to do something about this.

_Now things are coming clear  
And I don't need you here  
And in this world around me  
I'm glad you disappeared  
So I'll stay out all night  
Get drunk and f*ckin' fight  
Until the morning comes I'll  
Forget about our life_

He took the bottle from the table. It was Skipper's favorite. He drunk it all at once. It felt as a relief. He knew that he would forget about all the things that had happened the past months. The alcohol worked as a medicine, as a painkiller. He laughed, he should be glad that they were gone. Why should he miss them? They never let him enjoy life. They never appreciated the things he liked and didn't liked. They always made fun of him, while he was watching TV, while he was asking a question. They never identified his ability's to be a real good soldier. Making fun of him. Saying that he wouldn't survive. Look who's alive now, and who isn't? He laughed, How could they possibly have underestimated him this much? He was the only one to survive this mess. The alcohol made him feel dizzy. He saw the rays of sunlight coming through the left open fishbowl exit. He looked at them, forgetting about everything around him and everything what had happened. The alcohol had finally done his job.

_I feel so much better  
Now that you're gone forever  
I tell myself that I don't miss you at all  
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better now  
That you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever  
And now you're gone forever_

He awoke with a banging head ache, but he didn't care. He looked around the HQ. Empty. It wasn't a dream, it was real. He felt the anger racing through his veins. He would make them pay, those Danes and Boris. He would make them feel the pain his friends had felt. He would take revenge. The numb feeling he had felt since Skipper's death was gone. He had to find them and then he would kill them. On the slowest and most painful way he knew. But first he had to find them. He had to find Boris first. Then he would take down Denmark's secret agency. All by himself.

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_Are you still enjoying the story?_


	17. Chapter 17: Memories Of Once Happy Times

_Please enjoy chapter 17!_

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**Chapter 17: Memories Of Once Happy Times**

_He looked out of the window. Should he feel compassion for the little bird? No, he had to take his revenge. He had sworn that they would pay, they would pay for making his life miserable. For killing almost his whole family and his friends. Boris felt a tear rolling over his face._

She lighted the candle, in front of their photograph. She didn't know what was going on, but it was obvious that there was something horribly wrong with the penguins. She knew that Rico had died, she also knew that Skipper had severe injuries. But she had always thought that they would have returned by now. She had lit a candle every night, praying for them. She felt that they needed help, but what could she do? She didn't even know where they were. She walked out of her cave.

She saw a light shining through the open fishbowl exit. She ran towards the habitat. "You guys are finally back!" She jumped into their underground HQ. She There was no penguin to be found. She walked further into the room, but tripped over an empty bottle. She picked it up, it was Skipper's Tia Maria. She knew that he only took one glass once or twice in the year, for special occasions only. How did it come here? She laid the bottle on the table, not paying attention to where she was walking.

She almost fell over something soft, something that was laying on the ground. The brown otter looked down. "Private?" He was almost unrecognizable. His feathers were ruffled, he looked deathly tired. She noticed a scar on his chest, black feathers were normally white feathers should have been. He looked older, but it was like he was suffering from severe depressions. Where were the other penguins? Or at least, where's Kowalski? She tried to wake Private, but there was no response, he was out cold. It was obvious that he was the one who had emptied the bottle. She lifted the penguin of the floor and laid him in a bunk. What had happened to them?

_He heard them slamming against his door. He should have known that they would come to arrest him. Apparently they didn't like it when he killed their second best agent. He took the fighting position, with in his right flipper his gun. He would fight himself out of here. They wouldn't take him. They wouldn't understand it, they would judge him, saying that he was a villain. They managed to break the door down. Seven penguins stood in front of him. He pulled the trigger seven times and ran out of his HQ. They would never catch him._

She walked back to her own habitat. She knew that seeing Private in this state indicated something. Her heart dropped. He was all alone. What had happened to Kowalski? She prayed once more, but this time only for the little bird in the habit beside hers.

_He didn't like it, but he had to return to the building where it all started. He knew that they wouldn't find him here. When he stepped into the room, a cold feeling overwhelmed him. It was impossible to believe that they were all gone. And that all because of Skipper, Nigel and Private. _

She couldn't sleep. The imagines of her friends were haunting her. Where were they? Were they still alive? She felt a stinging pain in her stomach when she thought about the once loving Private. It had changed him, all the things that he had seen and heard. She decided to cease her attempts to sleep. She picked up the photograph on her dresser. They had no idea that she had that photograph, she smiled at the memory. She had hidden the camera in the busses and then she had tried to make them smile. They were looking happily at each other. She let her paw run over the penguin in the middle. A stern smile was on his face. He never smiled much, not a genuine smile. She wished that she had seen him laugh more often. She wished that she had told him that she believed in his commando missions, instead of laughing at him because of them. Was he gone? And what happened to the penguin next to him. Where was he? She couldn't help but smile when she thought about all the trouble his inventions gave. Skipper always used to get so angry at him. Like he didn't appreciate Kowalski's help or company. For the first time she wondered what the team had kept together.

There was Rico. How had he met his end? She hoped that it was with a bang. He really liked explosions, she always expected that he would go with one of them. The most of the animals saw Rico as a monster, but she never did. Actually he was always willing to help her out. His soul must have been just as good as Private's.

Private… All alone, no friends around him. It was clear that he was broken, he had been through a lot. She decided to have a word with him tomorrow morning, she knew that she had to help him. She laid down again and with the photograph still in her paws, she fell asleep.

_There was the drawing his brother had made a long time ago. Boris looked closely at it. The drawing showed three penguins. They were smiling and waving. Just like Skipper had taught them. He remembered the first time doing that routine. He smiled a little. But then the intense sad feeling started to grow again. His brother was gone. He looked at the penguin most left in the drawing._

_That was himself. His two green eyes were just like emeralds. He was the only one who had inherited his mother's eyes. Next to him was a slightly shorter penguin, laughing, his crystal blue eyes filled with joy. And then there was the reason for all of this. Boris turned around. He waddled away from the painting, into the bathroom. Those happy times were gone. He looked at the penguin in front of him, the penguin with the green and grey eye. Would he ever stop missing them? He couldn't get the drawing out of his head. Why, did you had to go Manfredi?_

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_Thank you for reading my story so far! :)  
_


	18. Chapter 18: Someone Around

_Here's chapter 18, enjoy!_**  
**

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**Chapter 18: Someone Around**

Private… All alone, no friends around him. It was clear that he was broken, he had been through a lot. She decided to have a word with him tomorrow morning, she knew that she had to help him. She laid down again and with the photograph still in her paws, she fell asleep.

Private opened his eyes. He wished that the headache would disappear. He felt a little ill, but he knew that it was all to blame on the alcohol. He wondered how he got into his bunk, but he assumed that he forgot about that. He jumped out of the bunk, and got out of the HQ. A nice swim in the pool was exactly what he needed right now, so he jumped into the water. After every lap he swam, the reality became more clear. His friends were gone, he was all alone. The sadness returned but his headache softened a little.

He got out of the water and went inside the HQ. He would do it today, he would leave just now. It was the time that he let that maniac feel what his friends had felt. He picked up the knife from Rico's sushi making set. He knew that revenge wouldn't make them come back, but he had the illusion that it would help him process everything what has happened.

Marlene walked towards his habitat. She didn't look where she was going. Her mind was too foggy. She could only think about Private and what may or may not has happened to the other penguins. She saw him coming out of the underground HQ. "Private! How are you?!"

This was not what he needed, not what he wanted. He heard the worry in her voice. He didn't have the time for this. He wanted to find Boris, making him pay for this miserable life he now had to live. "Never been better." He looked angrily in her eyes. He tried to walk around her, but she blocked him.

She was shocked by the roughness of his voice, the cold expression on his face. But she wouldn't give up. She had to know what had happened, so she could help him. He tried to push her out-of-the-way, but she was strong and kept her position. "Don't you dare lying to me. You are obviously not okay." She knew that she had to be cautious, but she couldn't hold it back any longer. "So where are Skipper and Kowalski? You aren't alone, are you?" She wished that she had held her mouth closed. He had stiffened. The cold expression he had minutes ago was warm compared to the expression which was now written on his face. The color of his eyes seemed to darken. He turned away from her, but he didn't waddled away.

"Dead." It was almost a whisper, barely audible over the wind. She closed her eyes. She felt a bit dizzy. This wasn't true. She knew that she had to help him, but how? She hadn't noticed that he was waddling away from her. She ran towards him and lay her paw on his shoulder, trying to turn him around.

The otter was getting on his nerves. Couldn't she see that he had to do something? He felt her paw on his shoulder, trying to hold him back. He turned furiously around. "Can't you just leave me alone?!" He pointed the knife at her chest. "If you don't, I promise you, you won't see tomorrow!"

She backed away. This wasn't Private. This couldn't be Private. She looked at his face, but she didn't recognize him anymore. "Private?" She raised her paws, she could feel it, he would kill her. The eyes were not the ones she remembered. He looked so much older, he looked evil. Suddenly, she felt the fear fading from her mind. The death would come anyway, she just hoped that she could help him before he stabbed her.

He didn't remember turning around, or pointing a knife at Marlene. He felt so tired, so empty. His feet couldn't hold it any longer. He fell down to the ground. "What's happening to me?" He whispered to himself. "Can someone help me?" He couldn't help it, he felt so miserable, so lonely. It was like he was drowning.

She backed further away, while trying to reason with the penguin in front of her. "Private, we can solve this. I can help you, please Private, calm down. It's alright." He didn't seem to hear her, he was in his own world, far away from here. She closed her eyes and when she opened them to look at him again, it was like she was watching at the old Private again. He fell to the ground, suddenly, without any warning. "Private!" She ran towards him.

The paws stroking over his back. He didn't feel them. The words coming from her mouth. He didn't hear them. He felt nothing anymore, he was empty on the inside, nothing but fog in his head.

"Private, please talk to me! Can you hear me? Private?" She tried to bring him back to reality, but how hard she tried, it wouldn't work. What could she do to help him? She decided to sit next to him and wait.

He looked around, he had lost all of his awareness of time. Next to him sat a brown otter, looking at him with her brown eyes. "Marlene, I'm sorry… I don't know what happened." The otter smiled at him. "Let's just take it easy, okay Private?" So they sat there, watching the skies, the birds flying over their heads. Everything was returning to him, the sound of the cars, the people shouting. He felt the wind ruffling his feathers, the sun on his head. He looked at the otter, still observing him. She had a worried look in her eyes. What had he done to her?

Marlene was glad that he was awakened from his trance, but she was worried about him. It was obvious that he had been through a lot. Probably keeping it all to himself. Just watching, pretending to not be there. She felt sorry for the penguin. He had lost all his friends in such a short time. She knew that he needed some company. Not to talk with, he just needed someone around, someone who cared about him. She would do it, she would be that someone.

He was glad that she was there, sitting with him. It was comforting, making him feel that he had someone who cared about him around. He missed that feeling.

There on the ground, lay a knife. Still clean, still shiny. But his existence was forgotten. At least for now.

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_:)_


	19. Chapter 19: Big Blue Eyes

_Chapter 19 is here!  
_

_Please enjoy! :)_**  
**

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**Chapter 19: Big Blue Eyes**

Private was glad that Marlene was there, sitting with him. It was comforting, making him feel that he had someone who cared about him around. He missed that feeling.

There on the ground, lay a knife. Still clean, still shiny. But his existence was forgotten. At least for now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She said after the long silence. He looked at her, wasn't sure if he wanted to relive those moments. "I'm not sure Marlene, it's just so painful. I wish that I could forget everything, I wish that I could forget them." The tears blinked in his eyes. She placed a comforting paw on his shoulder. She didn't say anything, she just sat there next to him and waited for him to say something. "I never expected them to leave, well you know, and leaving me behind." He buried his head in his flippers. It was too much. He felt so tired fighting against his tears, his worry and his sadness. "How can I make this stop Marlene? I can't do it on my own." He sighed and took the flippers from his face. His face was covered with an expression of immense pain. "I'm broken inside Marlene, he had to kill the last one who was there for me. He ruined my life."

The penguin's sobs were heartbreaking. She didn't know who this 'He' was, but she didn't dare ask him. He had to get out this depressing state all by himself. She could only wait and listen, hoping that he would pull through.

But his expression changed suddenly, showing flames in his eyes, but behind the flames was still the grief. "I will make him pay, I know that he has something to do with, with… their, well, you know." He stuttered. His flipper moved towards the knife, still laying there beside them. How could he let their murderer life? He stood up, Looking down at Marlene. "You were right Marlene. I'm not okay, but after I've done this, I will be. Thank you for your concern." He looked at the sky. If only he could fly away, right into heaven, to be with them again. He sighed. He had to avenge their death.

She had hoped that he would pull through on his own. It was obvious that his soul was too scratched to forgive and maybe forget what happened. She had hoped that she could make him feel better. She felt some fear while looking at the penguin standing in front of her, with the knife in his hand. But the deathly cold look in his eyes told her that he had to do this. She couldn't stop him, but she had to try. She knew that he was about to kill someone. "Private, please think about what you're going to do. There's no way you can erase the things you have done, or in this case what you're about to do." Private just shrugged at her words. "I have to do this Marlene. I have to do it for them. " He walked away from her, away from his once save home.

She knew that his soul was gone. She had almost found the old Private back, but it was too late. The old Private was no more. She knew that if he left now, that he would never return as the loving bird she once knew. She bent her head. Why are you doing this to yourself Private? Why do you do this to me?

_The penguin looked out of the dirty window. Boris knew that his life as a secret agent working for the head quarters was over. But it was worth it. He had made them pay for what they had done. It was their own fault. He didn't care about the young penguin, although he knew that he had ruined his life. It was his own fault. If he hadn't been there, everything wouldn't have happened like it had happened. The rain was falling, he looked at the sky. Was there really a heaven? And if there was, would they be there now?_

He didn't know how, but he had found his destination. The old building was ruinous, but you could live in it. It was like he had seen it before. He went inside, prepared for every kind of attack, but none came. He looked around and waddled down the hallway.

_He had seen him coming. He knew that the young penguin wanted revenge. He also knew that he had to face him. Maybe even tell him the truth. But the truth was something he wanted to forget. He wished that he could kill the truth and his memories just like he had killed the reason for them. He was coming inside. Boris waddled out of the room and towards the little bird. "So you've decided to come and get me?"_

There he was, the penguin who had made his life miserable. He twirled the knife in his flippers. No sympathy, he had to do it now. But before he knew it, Boris had slammed the knife out of his flippers. "Come on kid, do you really think that I just wait for you to stab me?" Boris showed him his crazy smile. Private felt that he had to take his chance now. He threw himself upon the bigger and stronger penguin, trying to get him to the ground. He failed, Boris had him down in seconds. Private felt so much hate and anger flooding in his body, but he couldn't escape the grasp of the penguin above him.

_He reached for the knife while he was holding the little penguin to the ground. This was much easier than he had expected. It showed once again that Skipper never was a good commando. He had trained his soldiers poorly, meaning that he had never changed. He pointed the knife at Private's chest. But he couldn't do it, he just couldn't while looking in those big blue eyes. They were almost the same eyes as Manfredi's. Almost._

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_I hope that you liked this chapter!  
_


	20. Chapter 20: The Truth

_Sorry everyone, this is a short one!**  
**_

_Have fun!  
_

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**Chapter 20: The Truth**

Private twirled the knife in his flippers. No sympathy, he had to do it now. But before he knew it, Boris had slammed the knife out of his flippers. "Come on kid, do you really think that I just wait for you to stab me?" Boris showed him his crazy smile. Private felt that he had to take his chance now. He threw himself upon the bigger and stronger penguin, trying to get him to the ground. He failed, Boris had him down in seconds.

Boris pointed the knife at Private's chest. But he couldn't do it, he just couldn't while looking in those big blue eyes. They were almost the same eyes as Manfredi's. Almost.

How could he do this? He pulled himself back. How could he kill his own brother? He wasn't like Skipper. He couldn't destroy his own family, well not that what was left from it. The little penguin was still laying on the ground. His eyes closed, waiting for Boris to kill him. He knew that his weakness meant that he had to tell the bird the truth. And the truth wasn't something he wanted to tell someone.

Private laid there and waited for Boris to stab the knife into his body. The pain never came, so he opened his eyes. The bird was looking down at him, his face was covered in sadness. "Private, I need to tell you something." His voice wasn't harsh anymore. It sounded soft, even loving. It was confusing for Private. How could the penguin who just had tried to kill him speak so loving to him? He was still afraid of Boris. He felt almost paralyzed, he didn't trust the penguin in front of him.

Boris knew that Private was too afraid of him to answer, or even move. He pulled the little penguin up and he set him down at the table. "Private, I am your brother."

What could he say? What could he do? He stared at the penguin in front of him. This wasn't true. He had no family. This wasn't real, this was some kind of joke. How could the one who killed Nigel be his brother? It was impossible. Brothers were always there for each other, they would protect each other. They would let the friends of each other life. "You can't be." The face of Boris stiffened.

How could he have expected that the boy would believe him? He had killed his, no their, uncle and one of his best friends. "I really am Private. Believe me."

Something convinced him that he could trust Boris. He didn't know what that exactly was, maybe the look in his green and grey eyes. Maybe his pose. Maybe the words he had said. "Alright, so what if you are my brother, why did you ruin my life?"

The truth. The truth hurts. How can you tell something if you know that it's going to hurt you and the listener? How can you tell the reason to what have caused all the problems to the problem itself? Boris didn't know where to begin. He decided that it was time to tell the whole story. It was obvious that no one had ever told the young penguin his own story. It was hard to believe that the penguin in front of him didn't even know who his own family was and what had happened to them. Private knew nothing of his own life. Boris knew that it was all to blame on Skipper and Nigel. They had concealed the truth.

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_I hope that you liked this chapter!_


	21. Chapter 21: The Beginning

_I really enjoyed writing this chapter!_

_I hope that you'll enjoy it too :)_

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**Chapter 21: The Beginning**

"Private, I am your brother."

It was hard to believe that the penguin in front of him didn't even know who his own family was and what had happened to them. Private knew nothing of his own life. Boris knew that it was all to blame on Skipper and Nigel. They had concealed the truth.

"I will tell you everything Private, from the beginning. I'm sure that you will understand everything when I'm finished." He smiled at his little brother, but Private seemed too astonished to say a word. So Boris just started his story. It felt like he was there again, for the first time.

The building in front of him was tall. Grey. Cold. The windows were blinded and the front door was tightly shut. The penguin in front of the building shivered. Why did he had to attend this military school? He felt a little homesick, he wanted to stay with his family in Antarctica. But his dad had said that he had to become a soldier. So that's why he'd come here. His green eyes scanned the building. He was afraid, what would he find inside? Would he make some friends? The door opened, revealing a tall muscular bird. He had dark sunglasses on and an earpiece by his ear hole. "You are Boris?" The little penguin nodded, he was a bit afraid of the penguin in front of him. "Follow." Boris waddled inside the building. If it was possible, the interior on the inside of the building was even colder and grayer. It appeared that they were in a hallway and it was empty. Nothing else than complete grayness. Boris wished that he could turn back.

He followed the penguin from room to room. Every room had the same cold atmosphere. Everything everywhere was grey. Or black, when there was furniture placed in a room. The large penguin stopped in a room with a two chairs and a table. It looked like an interrogation room. The penguin pointed at one of the chairs. "Sit." Boris nodded again and sat on the chair. It was hard, cold, just like the building. Boris wondered if they were the only two penguins in the building. He hadn't seen anybody else yet. The door opened and revealed a medium-sized penguin. He had scars all over his body and dark grey, almost black eyes. Boris expected to hear a harsh voice again, but the penguin sounded soft. At least softer than the other penguin. Boris relaxed somewhat. "So, you are Boris? " Boris nodded. "You want to become a weapons expert?" Boris nodded once more. "You have permission to talk, Boris." The penguin at the other side of the table looked somewhat amused. "You had some experience with fighting?" "Yes sir." Boris confirmed. "I've had some training from my father." The scarred penguin nodded. "Good. Well, welcome to the military school." He smiled at Boris, but Boris couldn't smile back. He was scared. "If you would follow my colleague." Boris nodded and waddled towards the same penguin who had let him in. "Good luck, Boris." The penguin said to him, before waddling away into another room.

He waddled silently after the penguin. What was that about? They waddled through an empty hallway towards an elevator. "In here." Boris followed the large penguin into the elevator. The penguin pushed one of the buttons and the elevator went down with an incredible speed. Boris felt a wave of nausea getting over him. "Get used to it kid." The large penguin was so harsh and cold, Boris felt totally out-of-place. He wasn't a cold person. He loved puppy's and rainbows. The elevator stopped suddenly. Boris was glad that he could get out of there. The doors opened, showing yet another grey large room. Doors were at all sides of the room. But there were penguins too, penguins of his age and some older ones. But none old enough to be a fully trained soldier.

In one corner of the room was a bunch of slightly older penguins. They were laughing about some jokes. There was a penguin, alone in the furthest corner of the room. He was all alone, apparently doing some karate kicks. Every kick he made was perfect, but missed something. It missed the feeling. The bird turned around and Boris saw the expression on his face. It was sad, painful. The bird continued on his exercises. It was beautiful to watch, all the movements told their own story. Boris turned to look at the large penguin. "You stay here. Wait for further orders." Boris nodded and waddled into the room. All the penguins were together in groups. There was a group playing chess at the other side. They all looked like geeks, but they enjoyed their game and each other. And there was bunch of penguins playing some card games. But the most were just talking to each other. No one noticed him. No one but the lonely penguin in the corner of the room. He was apparently done with his karate training, because he was waddling towards him. "You are a new one? " Boris nodded. The penguin extended his flipper to shake. "I'm Skipper. Welcome." He took the flipper and shook it, thankfully to have some company. "I'm Boris." Skipper smiled at him. "They will come back for you in a couple of minutes. Why don't you join me with karate exercises?" Boris nodded excitedly. "It would be a pleasure."

Skipper turned out to be real good at fighting. Boris constantly lost from him. But he didn't mind, he enjoyed being with someone friendly. Skipper gave him some tips and they worked immediately. Suddenly, he felt a tap on his shoulder. "Boris? Will you come with us please?" Skipper had stopped his attack and watched them, waving. "Good luck!" Boris smiled back at him. "Thank you!" And he waddled with the two penguins out of the room.

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_So did you enjoy it?_

_The next chapter(s) will be flashbacks too._

_I mention this, so you won't get confused ;)_


	22. Chapter 22: In Loving Memory

_Here's chapter 22, another flashback._**  
**

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**Chapter 22: In Loving Memory**

How could he ever go on with his life? The tears streamed down his face. What if. Two words, and they can haunt you forever. Skipper laid his flipper around his shoulder. Boris was glad that his friend was there, he really needed someone around. Manfredi laid the flowers upon mom's grave. Boris held the flowers closer to his chest. What if he had been there? Could he have saved them? Skipper pushed softly against his back. He had to lay the flowers down now. He kneeled in front of his father's grave. The white flowers, the black stone. It made him dizzy.

He felt the presence of his friends, he could feel their warmth. But on the inside, he was cold, broken down inside. "Boris, we have to go. Benjamin is waiting for us." Nigel said to him, but he didn't react. He didn't care about Benjamin. His flippers stroke over the cold black stone with the engraved letters. He could feel every letter, every number. The star, the cross. He turned his head a little to the left. His mother's grave was white, just the opposite color of his father's grave. He saw Johnson standing by Manfredi, they had been best friends since they had met each other at the academy.

Manfredi backed away from his mother's grave. Johnson gave him his handkerchief. Manfredi dried his eyes, turned around and waddled away, without looking back.

Skipper dragged him away from his parent's grave. "It's time to go Boris." His voice was soft and caring. He tried to waddle on his own, but the tears blinded him. Skipper helped him towards the exit of the graveyard, they turned around by the large heavy gates. "It's time to say goodbye Boris." He nodded and closed his eyes. He prayed for them, he hoped that they were in a better place now. He opened his eyes, looked at the sky. "One day, I will join you. No one can take you away from me." Nobody heard him. Even Skipper hadn't heard him. Boris turned around, he saw his friends, the rest of his family, minus Benjamin. He would never forget the sight of all of them, standing there, looking at him. They kept him alive. Skipper, Johnson, Manfredi and Nigel.

Turning around. Forgetting about your past. It's a part of everyone's life. If you want to survive, you will have to forget about the things you miss the most. Everything and everybody goes away from you. Friends will betray you. Loved ones will die. Your favorite book? Eventually, it will turn into dust. Boris looked at his friends. He knew that he had to continue his life. Maybe even forget about them. But not now. It was too fresh, too painful.

Skipper was sitting behind him, talking to Johnson. "When do you think that he's back to normal?" Words. Some have a meaning. Other words are meaningless, just floating through the air, waiting for someone to hear them. Someone to extract the real meaning of them. Because even the most meaningless words, they still mean something. Sometimes you just have to listen. You just have to watch. Sometimes you only have to feel. The real meaning of a word is most of the time hidden, invisible for almost everyone. Only the ones who really pay attention to them, they notice their meaning.

"Hard to say sir. Such depression can stay for a long time." Johnson replied. Was he really depressed? Boris had not the faintest idea. He didn't even know how much time had passed since they had left the graveyard. He just knew the time had passed. Slow or fast, is there a difference? He guessed that it was probably one day, or two. Or a week. He didn't really care, they wouldn't come back. He felt so lonely. Lost in the time, lost in a world he couldn't see or feel.

On a day, the snow will melt. The sun will be warm again. The grass will be green again, the rain will stop. Spring will come, sooner or later. Boris knew that he would pull through, it just took him some time. He was glad that Skipper had given him the time to heal. How could he possibly have survived without Skipper?

The small penguin waddled towards him, the worried expression written all over his face. Boris had always thought that it was funny that their leader was the smallest of them all. But Skipper had proven to be stronger than they were all together. It always impressed Boris, he would never say it to Skipper, but he really was his hero.

"I've lost them too, you know. I know precisely how you feel." Skipper sat down beside him. "I was eight, they were killed by some assassins." Skipper's bright blue eyes pierced into Boris's green ones. "I promised myself that I would make them proud. They wanted me to become someone, but to always stay myself. If you wouldn't make it through the night, could you say that you've made them proud?" Skipper laid his flipper on Boris's back. He smiled at him. "It's time to pull yourself together. Time to make them proud. " Boris thought about the Skipper's words. He knew that his friend was right. He had to go on, to live his own life. "I can't go on and just forget about them. I just can't." Skipper removed his flipper from his back and kneeled in front of him. "You won't forget them, you just give them a place in your heart." Skipper showed his warm smile once more before he waddled away, leaving Boris alone with his thoughts.

He joined the training the following morning. Skipper nodded approvingly at him before giving his commands. Boris smiled back. He would never forget them, they would stay in his heart forever. He would make them proud.

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_I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! :)_


	23. Chapter 23: Naming The Right Names

_So this is chapter 23!_

_I hope you like it. :)**  
**_

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**Chapter 23: Naming The Right Names**

The picture, which he was holding in his flippers, still made him cry. It was the only one he had of his remaining family members and his friends together. Nigel had insisted on taking the photograph that very day. Did Nigel knew what was about to happen?

Nigel was the one standing in the left corner of the picture. The devil was laying in his flippers. Skipper stood beside him. He looked proudly in the camera, with a wide smile on his face. Boris looked into his own green eyes. They were blank, showing the grief he had endured after he had lost his parents. Next to him was Manfredi, happy looking with a wide smile on his face. It was not like Manfredi to dwell on the events on past days. Then there was Johnson, smiling friendly at the camera. If he could just hear their voices once more, if he could tell them that he misses them. A distant voice spoke to him. "Boris, are you saying that I'm that Benjamin? Boris?" He came out of his trance. He had almost completely forgotten about the boy. "Yes Private, that's your real name."

Boris's story had hit Private deep inside. He felt sorry for his brother. Private gently removed the picture from Boris's flippers. The birds on the picture were smiling at him. So he was supposed to be the little chick in Nigel's flippers? He looked at the penguin who beside Boris. Manfredi was his brother. He wanted to know how his family had vanished from this world. He wanted to know why nobody ever told him that. He now knew that Nigel and Skipper had known his past. Skipper… The penguin on the picture laughed at him with a laugh he had never seen before, warm and happy. "So if Benjamin is my real name, why didn't any of you use it?"

How could Boris answer his question? He had always called him 'the devil', or 'the reason'. It was Skipper's idea to name him Private, Skipper hoped that it would help Boris to get over his hatred towards the little penguin. It didn't, but the name stayed. "Skipper gave you that name."

_Just like the rain, the training didn't stop. Boris thought that Skipper wanted them to drop dead from exhaustion at that very spot, but he knew better than to argue with the leader. Skipper had been grumpy for weeks and Boris couldn't figure out why. He looked worriedly at his friend. For the last days he had been ignoring him. Boris finished his push ups. Skipper was watching the skies while his soldiers were finishing their trainings. This wasn't like the Skipper he knew, he wasn't even looking at his solders. "Skipper what's wrong?" His friend turned around and faced him, a tired expression on his face. "I just have a weird feeling in my stomach, probably ate some bad fish..." Manfredi and Johnson were done with their push ups too. They were joining the other two penguins of the team. They didn't care about the rain, they just stood there, side by side. As if they knew something bad was about to happen. As if some of them knew the end wasn't that far away. If this meant the end of a life or the end of a friendship. _

_They didn't know how long they were standing there, watching the dark grey skies. A voice called them back to reality: "So where are the UFO's?" They turned around, facing a smirking Nigel. Benjamin was laying in his flippers. "So what's the problem Nigel?" Skipper asked the penguin. Nigel's happy look turned serious instantly. "Head Quarters. They've got some orders for you." Skipper nodded and waddled after Nigel towards a more private place._

_Boris looked over Manfredi's shoulder. The drawing was amazing, showing three penguins. Boris was impressed by the drawing, it was perfect. He looked in his own green eyes, as if he was looking into a mirror. Manfredi had always loved his eyes, while Boris wished he had Manfredi's. The young penguin was on the right side of Manfredi in the drawing. Benjamin, or Private as he had to call him now. In his mind he still preferred Devil or Monster. He waddled away from the table. Johnson was watching some kind of documentary about Nanotechnology._

He would give everything to watch that documentary now, if it was with Johnson. He missed his friend and he missed his brother. He would do everything to be with Manfredi and Johnson again, but nothing would make them come back again. His eyes fell upon the penguin in front of him. It was all the fault of Skipper, Nigel and Devil, who was sitting right in front of him. He felt the anger rising in his chest. Those memories opened scars which were dried long ago. His flipper silently moved towards the knife, he had confiscated from the little bird earlier.

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_Hope you liked it!_


	24. Chapter 24: Look Into My Eyes

_Sorry for the delay everyone, but here is chapter 24.  
_

_Enjoy chapter 24!_**  
**

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**Chapter 24: Look Into My Eyes**

"_Boris, look at me." Manfredi said, faintly, slowly. Boris held his brother to his chest. He looked into Manfredi eyes. The shimmering was gone. It was too late. "MANFREDI!" Boris yelled, but the penguin who was laying in his flippers didn't answer. He wouldn't say anything ever again. "Come back, please come back to me! Manfredi, please, don't give up. You can't, you just can't." He ignored his own pain, it didn't matter now. Only Manfredi lifeless body mattered. "He won't come back Boris." Boris looked at his friend and leader. He felt all his anger rising to a dangerous level. There he was, the reason for his brother's death. Skipper looked worn out, broken. Boris didn't care. "You've lead us into that ambush. It is all your fault. I won't ever forgive you."_

_He laid his brother's body back on the bed. Boris closed the eyes of his brother, stroke one last time through his feathers. He stood up, waddled out of the room. His left eye was covered with an eye-patch. He had taken his beating too in the fight. But he had survived. He wasn't death._

"_Boris, stop!" Skipper yelled. Boris turned around and faced his friend. "You can't walk out like this." Boris sighed, he tried to stay calm, he counted till ten. "And why can't I? Why would I ever want to stay in one place with the murderer of my brother and his best friend?" Skipper shivered when he made that accusation. "I am not a murderer. It was just an accident." Boris laughed, cold, harshly. "A planned accident, don't you think?" A hurtful look appeared in Skipper's eyes. "I would never do such a thing to my men. Neither to my friends." Boris turned around and waddled further out of the white room. "Yeah right. That's why you told us to split up? It just happened that you had to forget about your beloved penguin credo. It wasn't their fault, Skipper. It was yours."_

"_I had to follow the orders, don't you understand it Boris? We had to do it this way, otherwise it would have been a total disaster." Boris turned towards his friend again. He had never felt so angry in his life. "And what do you think this was?! An excellent opportunity to get rid of us?!" Boris yelled in Skipper's face. He could see that the leader had not the energy to argue anymore, but he didn't care. He would make Skipper pay for his stupidity. "Nigel said that this was the only way to get the mission done." Skipper's voice sounded drained, hurt. He could see the pain in Skipper's eyes, the pain of losing two of his best men, his comrades. But he had lost his brother. For nothing. "So this mission was more important than our lives?"_

"_Boris, please calm down and listen to me. Please." He could see the despair in Skipper's eyes, but he turned around and waddled away. "Never again Skipper. It's over. But I promise you, I will make sure that your end will be as miserable as Manfredi's was. Mark my words."_

"But what happened on the mission, how did they die?" Private asked to the penguin who was sitting in front of him. Boris shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

Boris's eyes filled with tears, only by thinking about that day. The last time he had seen his brother alive. He looked into the eyes of his brother. Big baby blue ones, just like Manfredi had. He gave in.

"Skipper got the mission from Nigel, and we had to move out within 24 hours."

"_Trust__ me_, _Manfredi, what could go wrong?__" Skipper said to his private, who had been questioning the safety of the mission. "I'm with Manfredi on this one, it really sounds dangerous…" Johnson stated. Skipper sighed. "Manfredi, Johnson, look into my eyes." The two penguins moved closer to Skipper. "We can do this. Trust me, we really can." Boris looked at his uncle, who was sitting in the corner of the room with Private. "Are you joining us, uncle Nigel?" Nigel shook his head. "No Boris. I have to watch Private. But I am sure that you can do it by yourself."_

_The bullets flew through the air, hitting almost everybody in the room. Boris had trouble to dodge them, since he had hurt his left eye badly and couldn't see where the bullets came from. He heard the screams but he didn't know who was shot and who wasn't. Suddenly, everything seemed to stop. He looked around, he saw Manfredi and Johnson laying on the ground, next to each other. Skipper slid towards them and Boris followed him. Skipper touched Johnson's body, taking his pulse, examining him. Boris looked down at Manfredi, took his pulse too. He saw the wounds on his brother's body, the pain in his eyes. "Don't leave Manfredi. Stay here with us, please!" Skipper joined him, leaving Johnson's body on the cold hard ground. Boris knew that the penguin was dead. Skipper and Boris both dragged Manfredi out of the building, where the backup waited for them._

BANG. The penguin in front of him sank to the floor. He had a shot wound in his chest, blood poured out of his body. Private moved towards him, looked in the eyes of his brother. The lights in his eyes faded, while he mumbled his last words. "I am dying while looking into the eyes of a devil. God have mercy." Private closed his own eyes. The murder he had planned to do was done.

Only not by him.

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_So how did you like it?_


	25. Chapter 25: Someone Who Cares

_This is a song chapter, again.  
_

_The song is (again) by Three Days Grace, I think their music really goes well with this story.:)  
_

_It's 'Someone who cares'  
_

_So, I reread this chapter and changed the death/dead confusions and some big grammar errors.  
_

_:)  
_

_Enjoy!_**  
**

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**Chapter 25: Someone Who Cares **

BANG. The penguin in front of him sank to the floor. Private moved towards him, looked in the eyes of his brother. The lights in his eyes faded, while he mumbled his last words. "I am dying while looking into the eyes of a devil. God have mercy." Private closed his own eyes. The murder he had planned to do was done.

Only not by him.

Private opened his eyes and turned around. There stood three penguins in the door opening. "He had it coming kid." The penguin with the gun in his flipper said to him, with a sad expression on his face.

"Who are you?" Private couldn't believe that it was over now, his brother was dead. Just like his friends, family, team mates. But this was different. He didn't see the dead penguin as his brother or as one of his friends. The shock of being related to him and Manfredi had worn off. He didn't feel sorry for the dead penguin. He had it coming.

The penguin who stood in front of the others, tried to smile at him, but he failed. "I can't tell you my name, its classified." Private nodded. "Why did you kill him?" Although Private already knew the answer, he wanted to hear if Boris had made more victims. "There were a lot of accusations against Boris. First, the death of commando Skipper and his soldier Rico. The murder of special agent Nigel, and then several cases of abuse."

Private looked at him. He had known that Boris had killed Nigel, he had seen it. But how could Skipper and Rico have died because of him? They were on a mission in Denmark. But then he remembered, the last thing that Boris had said to Skipper. _"Never again Skipper. It's over. But I promise you, I will make sure that your end will be as miserable as Manfredi's was. Mark my words." _So that meant that the mission, was fake? That they had died in vain, just so that Boris could get his revenge?

"Are you alright kid? Do you need any help for getting home?" The shooter asked him, he had still the gun in his flipper. Private shook his head. "No thank you sir."

He waddled back through the almost dark city. The thoughts ran through his head, he couldn't understand what had happened to him. Who was guilty for what exactly? Was he the one to blame for everything that had happened?

He peered through every window, he saw family's dining together. Friends playing cards together. Everyone seemed to be at the right place, at home, together with their friends or family. No one was alone, no one but Private. He wished that he could be with friends again, with family. But they wouldn't come back. There was no room for him anywhere.

_Every street in this city  
Is the same to me  
Everyone's got a place to be  
But there's no room for me_

He didn't feel the rain on his head. He just waddled further over the pavement, ignoring the screaming people. "Look at that penguin!"

Was it really his fault that his parents had died? How did they die? Why was he the only one to survive this mess? What had he done to deserve this? Why wasn't he death, like his friends? Why couldn't he find anybody who cared about him?

_Am I to blame when the guilt and the shame  
Hang over me  
Like a dark cloud that chases you down  
In the pouring rain_

How could Boris say that he had killed his parents? He hadn't done anything on purpose. He had lost everybody he had cared about. Everyone who had cared about him. The one penguin who had caused this was dead, but it didn't soften the pain.

How could he ever understand what had happened to his life? How could he possibly survive this? It was almost like he was invisible, although the people did notice him. But they didn't care about him. They just didn't liked 'wild' animals in the city. None of them could see the pain he endured, it was unknown to them. Made that him unloved?

_It's not what it seems when you're not on the scene  
There's a chill in the air  
But there are people like me that nobody sees  
So nobody cares_

He could see it now. It was his fault. If he hadn't been born, Nigel would have joined the mission. He would have prevented that anything bad would happen to his nephews. He would have helped Skipper. Johnson and Manfredi would still be alive. He now knew why Boris had hated him. He would have hated himself too. He was to blame for everything. For the death of his parents, Manfredi, Johnson, Rico, Skipper, Kowalski, Nigel and Boris. He had killed everyone he cared about, although he never got their blood on his flippers, never pulled the trigger.

_I swear this time it won't turn out the same  
'Cause now I've got myself to blame  
And you'll know when we end up on the streets  
That it's easy enough to find someone  
Who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone_  
_Who cares about you?_  
_When it's easy enough to find someone_  
_Who looks down on you_

_Why is it so hard to find someone_  
_Who can keep it together when you've come undone?_  
_Why is it so hard to find someone_  
_Who cares about you?_

He saw the bell tower of the zoo. He was finally home, but it didn't feel like he belonged there. He was all alone, he didn't deserve it to stay here. He waddled through the gates. He was the one to blame.

_Why is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?  
_

A figure appeared in front of him.

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_I would like to thank you guys for reviewing!_

_100 reviews, is just WOW :O_


	26. Chapter 26: Fast Forward

_Here's chapter 26, please enjoy :D**  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 26: Fast Forward**

W_hy is it so hard to find someone  
Who cares about you?_

A figure appeared in front of him.

"Can't you just leave me alone for once?"

He waddled past the brown Asian otter. She now waddled next to him, but he saw that she had trouble to keep up the pace. He tried to waddle even faster. He didn't feel like talking to her.

"You killed someone, didn't you?" She was really getting on his nerves. He stopped and looked her in the eyes. "I didn't kill anyone. He was killed before I got the chance." Her eyes widened in shock, but she recovered instantly. "Are you okay Private? Do you want to talk about it?" He just ignored her and waddled towards the underground HQ. He heard her voice calling him, but he didn't pay attention to it. "I can help you!" He locked all the entrances of the HQ. He didn't feel like being with somebody anymore. He wanted to find out about his parents, his past.

Why had nobody ever told him about his past? Skipper had known it all this time, but he hadn't said a word. And why had Nigel sent him away to that British family? He knew that there was only one way left to get the past revealed to him. He took the elevator down to level eleven, with Skipper's tape-recorder in his flipper. He knew that Skipper had kept all his previous logs there. He only had to find the right tapes.

A smile appeared on his face while opening the closet which was holding Skipper's tapes. There were thousands of them, all filled with information about his family, friends and himself. To Private's delight all the tapes were labeled. Skipper's labeling system was much more accurate than Kowalski's. The tapes were neatly ordered on date, from the first tape Skipper ever recorded until the last one. Private put the first tape into the recorder.

"_Skipper's log,_

_Is this how I am supposed to do this? Is this thing even on?"_

Private heard a young penguin ask to someone else. He smiled. It was obviously Skipper's first time using the recorder.

"_So what do we do now? What do you say? We have to talk to this thing? Okay. If you say so._

_I am Skipper and this is-"_

Private had enjoyed listening to the young voice of his friend, it made him relax a bit. He pushed the button for fast forward. He was still seeking for answers to his questions.

"_Skipper's log_

_Today I've met a new student. He appears to be nice. We are sharing a room together. His name is Boris and he wants to become a weapons expert."_

Private took the tape out of the recorder. It was obvious that he needed to make a jump in time. He picked a different tape from the shelve and put it into the recorder.

"_Skippers log_

_I am really proud of my team. They have finished their first mission today. Boris and Johnson did everything perfect, only Manfredi wasn't that willingly. He kept questioning me about ethical nonsense. If we made the right call by using so much violence. Most of the times you wouldn't say that he really is Boris's brother. Boris just love to fight and he doesn't ask questions about what is good or wrong. He just follows my commands, like a soldier is supposed to do."_

Private paused. It was like Skipper was talking about him, not his brother. He smiled a little and then pushed the fast forward button once more.

"_Boris and Manfredi are with their heads in the clouds today. Their mom had laid an egg, meaning that they are getting a little brother or sister. They were so happy that they made me a cake, but the downside was that they couldn't focus on today's mission. Leaving Johnson in terrible danger, with only me to save him. I've got to learn them how to focus on missions and not only their social lives."_

Private had finally reached the part he was looking for. He held the recorder closer to his chest.

"_Skipper's log_

_Today is a sad day for the unit. We just received a message that Boris's and Manfredi's mom has died, a view seconds after the little chick got out of his egg. She had been deathly ill and the little penguin had been the reason. Something about eclampsia. They were not able to safe her. Tomorrow we move out for her funeral."_

He looked at the tape-recorder in his flippers. The voice of who was once his commanding officer had made it clear for him. He had killed his mother.

"_Skipper's log_

_I don't know what to say. I don't think that I'll be ever able to remove that sight from my memory. How can a penguin do such a thing to his sons? Boris and Manfredi are broken. I still can't believe someone would hang himself in the same room as his just born son. I just can't understand it. If we hadn't come to that place, the little penguin would have died from starvation."_

His dad had hung himself? Was the loss of his wife too much for him? Blamed his father him to for her death? The tears appeared in his eyes. His fault, it was all his fault.

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_..._


	27. Chapter 27: Locked Out

_This is chapter 27._

_I hope that you like it!**  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 27: Locked Out**

His dad had hung himself? Was the loss of his wife too much for him? Blamed his father him to for her death? The tears appeared in his eyes. His fault, it was all his fault.

Private picked the tape-recorder up from the ground. He felt a little tired, so he decided to take the tape-recorder with him to the table. It would be comfortable to listen there to it. He enjoyed listening to Skipper's voice, it felt like he could do that forever.

He sat down at the table and laid the tape-recorder down. He pushed the play button once more.

"_Skipper's log_

_Manfredi takes the loss of his parents better than I expected. He is sad, but he talks about it and laughs at some of our jokes. Boris, on the other hand is totally broken. I've tried to talk to him, but he ignores me. I think that he doesn't even notice me. He keeps talking about a devil, I think that he means Benjamin. He obviously blames Benjamin for the death of his parents._

_But Benjamin is one of the cutest chicks I have ever seen. He is going to live with his uncle for a couple of months. Then he'll be staying with his British godparents. But I wish that he could stay with us or with Nigel, but it's too dangerous."_

Private couldn't believe it. Why had Skipper never told him anything about his past? Why had Nigel told him nothing at all too? He was sure that he could take it. He felt his eyes closing, he was unable to understand Skipper's words anymore. He pressed the stop button and waddled towards his bunk. He close his eyes and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

She tried to open the fishbowl entrance to the HQ. It was locked. How was she supposed to get inside? She took the fish out of the bowl. A small panel with buttons opened. She had to guess a password to get into the HQ. It was probably one of Kowalski's inventions, so she knew that his password would have at least one time Doris in it.

She pulled her paws back from the fishbowl. It was no use. She had tried almost every possible combination with Doris and love or Kowalski, but the entrance was still locked down. She decided to try some different passwords. Maybe Skipper had changed it, he had known Kowalski's love for passwords including Doris. She typed in things like monstertrucks or hateonhippies, but nothing seemed to work.

She slammed her paw desperately upon the buttons. How could she get in? It took her a view seconds to realize that the fishbowl had moved away from the whole in the floor, revealing a dark HQ. Marlene looked down at the bowl. In the little window were shown four letters: Lola. Marlene thought about it for a moment, but she didn't find any connections between the penguins and someone named Lola. She shrugged and climbed off the ladder into the HQ.

"Private? Are you in here?" She couldn't see anything because of the darkness in the HQ. She turned on the lights. She saw Private in his own bunk, asleep. She smiled a little when she saw his face. It was almost like he was his young and ignorant self again. She wished that he really was.

She had seen Skipper's tape-recorder laying at the table. The memory of their little adventure in the sewer made her smile. It wouldn't hurt if she'd listen to some of his recordings would it? She just wanted to hear his voice once more. She pressed the play button and Skipper's voice filled the room. But it wasn't exactly how she remembered it. His voice was softer, friendlier and younger.

"_Skipper's log_

_I have received a message from Nigel. He wants to visit us with the little Benjamin. The chick is going England in two weeks. I told my men that they were coming and they all were delighted to hear so. Except Boris. He waddles out of the HQ each time we talk about Benjamin, saying that he will never stay in one room with that little devil. It hurts him too much. I think the name is a big part of it, so I changed it into Private."_

The click made clear that it was the end of the tape, but Marlene was too shocked to move. She did not entirely understand everything Skipper had said, but now she knew Private's real name. Benjamin, it was cute. But who was Boris? Was Skipper talking about his previous team?

She felt her eyelids close, she had not noticed how tired she was. Her paw slipped off the table, making the tape-recorder fall to the ground.

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_I hope you liked this chapter! :D_


	28. Chapter 28: Leave Me Alone

_Have fun with chapter 28! :D**  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 28: Leave Me Alone**

The click made clear that it was the end of the tape, but Marlene was too shocked to move. She did not entirely understand everything Skipper had said, but now she knew Private's real name. Benjamin, it was cute. But who was Boris? Was Skipper talking about his previous team?

She felt her eyelids close, she had not noticed how tired she was. Her paw slipped off the table, making the tape-recorder fall to the ground.

Private woke with a start, but was still a bit sleepy. He laid his head back on the pillow and thought a moment about his dream. Skipper had been there, talking to him. Although he couldn't hear the words which were coming out of the penguin's mouth, he knew from his smile that they were friendly. He wondered why Skipper had to leave him. But he wondered why he had awoken. He looked around the HQ and his eyes fell upon a sleeping Marlene. How many times did he had to tell her to leave him alone? He jumped out of his bunk and waddled towards her, with the intention to scream her to reason, but that was until he tripped over something laying on the ground.

She woke from a scream. She was immediately on her two paws, but she couldn't see anything dangerous in the HQ. She looked down to the ground and saw Private laying on the ground. She walked towards him. What had happened to him? It seemed like he was unconscious, probably because he had fallen head first to the ground. She rolled him on his back. His eyes were tightly shut, he was unconscious. She softly shook the penguin, trying to wake him up. When that didn't had any effect, she slapped his cheeks.

Was that Skipper who slapped him? He opened his eyes, only to look into Marlene's face. A disappointed feeling filled his body. He had thought that Skipper had slapped him, that Skipper wasn't dead. That it was all a dream. It wasn't a dream, it was real. A tear appeared in his eye, why couldn't they just come back?

He looked into Marlene's brown eyes. "Private! Are you alright?". He slowly sat up, before answering her question. "Yes I think so. Thank you." He looked away from her face, a bit embarrassed that she would see him crying. It didn't help though, she had already noticed his tears.

She laid her arm around him and tried to comfort her, but she had already seen that he would not listen to her words. She wouldn't be able to take the emotional pain away from the bird. She felt sorry for him.

He dried his eyes. "What are you doing here Marlene?" Private asked the brown otter. She looked at him before giving her answer. "I worried about you, so I came down to check if you were alright." She smiled at him, but he didn't return it. In fact, she noticed the angry expression on his face. "I'm okay. You can go now."

"You can't be alone in this situation, Private. You need someone around." She tried to reason with him, although she already knew that she would lose this battle. She had never thought that Private could be so stubborn. "I am perfectly fine with staying on my own, Marlene! If you want to do me a favor, then leave!" Although his baby blue eyes had lost their lights a long time ago, she could see that they were darkening with rage. He pushed her towards the exit.

Marlene had known that she couldn't do anything to help Private. He made her leave. Although he had tried to hide it from her, she had noticed how sad and broken his voice had sounded. But if he didn't accept her help, she couldn't do anything.

He waddled towards his bunk. He now noticed that he had a slight headache. He laid down and closed his eyes. He was sure that his headache would be gone tomorrow morning. He fell asleep.

The headache wasn't gone after the night. In fact, it had increased a little and he felt a little dizzy. Maybe he had caught a cold or something. He was sure that it wasn't anything serious. He bent down to get the tape-recorder from the floor. It was obvious that it had caused his fall. It was broken, but Private didn't know if or how he could fix it. He wished that he had paid more attention to Kowalski's long rants about fixing things. He picked up a screwdriver from Kowalski's toolbox, which was laying on the table. Maybe he was able to figure out how to fix the recorder on his own. He would give almost everything to listen to Skipper's voice again.

The screwdriver flew through the air and hit against the opposite wall. The penguin who had thrown it looked furiously down at the pile of plastic, formerly known as a tape-recorder. He couldn't fix it and for the first time he felt admiration for Kowalski and his inventions. Although they most of the time exploded, some of them had come in really handy. If only Kowalski was here to help him. He sat down in his bunk. His neck hurt a little, probably from constantly looking down at the broken tape-recorder.

Although he had told her to stay away, she could not shake the feeling that he needed her. She walked towards his habitat. The fishbowl entrance was still open and that worried her. She heard something hit the wall and she jumped inside the HQ. "Private, what's wrong?" She saw the penguin sitting in his bunk, his head laying in his hands. "Are you okay?" She asked him, but he ignored her, or at least that was what she thought.

He had heard the otter enter. He wished that she would just stay away. He didn't want anybody around him. He needed to do this on his own. "Can't you just -" He tried to speak, but his voice sounded hoarse, weak. He closed his beak, a bit surprised. He lifted his head, looking at Marlene. He saw that she hadn't heard anything. He took a deep breath and decided to try again. "Can't you just leave me alone for once?"

She noticed the weakness of his voice, it was a sounding bit hoarse. She looked at his face. There was something different about it, but she couldn't see what. "I will not leave you alone Private, you need me."

The otter was really getting on his nerves now. He didn't need anybody. His headache made him jumpy, he wanted to stay alone in silence. He decided to try one more time to make her leave.

"I don't need anyone around Marlene! I am fine!" She backed away from him, startled by the look in his bloodshot eyes. His flipper rose as if he wanted to hit her, but she avoided it and ran towards the exit. She turned around before climbing up the ladder. "Alright then, I'll leave." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She climbed out of the HQ, closing the fishbowl exit. She decided to leave him alone for the next three days.

* * *

_Thank you for reading :)_


	29. Chapter 29: Sound The Bugle

_This is another songchapter._

_The song is: Sound The Bugle from Bryan Adams (Spirit soundtrack)_

_I hope that you'll like it :)**  
**_

* * *

**Chapter 29: Sound The Bugle**

"I don't need anyone around Marlene! I am fine!" She backed away from him, startled by the look in his bloodshot eyes. His flipper rose as if he wanted to hit her, but she avoided it and ran towards the exit. She turned around before climbing up the ladder. "Alright then, I'll leave." She felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She climbed out of the HQ, closing the fishbowl exit. She decided to leave him alone for the next three days.

He opened his eyes. The headache wouldn't go away, no matter how many painkillers he took. He laid down in his bunk, his headache prevented him from doing anything. He closed his eyes. He felt numb, tired and even a bit ill. The sleep came soon.

He had the feeling that there was something very wrong. He felt his pounding headache, the stiffness in his neck, but there was more. He tried to get out of his bunk, but his right arm would not obey his commands. It was paralyzed, powerless. He tried his right leg, but it wouldn't move either. He didn't know what was going on, but it wasn't a good thing. He closed his eyes again.

The feeling of being unable to do anything drove him almost crazy. He just laid there. There was nothing left but thinking about what had happened and what he had done. He knew that he would never find out what had caused him to get in this condition, but he was sure that it would mean his end. He wished that it would end soon. He could not help but thinking about his friends, the once who were always there for him. But they were gone. Nobody was able to help him, because no one knew about his situation. Nobody out there cared about him, except for Marlene. He had caused his own death by sending her away. He wished that she would remember him like he once was, young, happy, maybe even a little foolish. He was all alone now, all alone waiting for his end to come. Unable to make a move, to prevent he would die from starvation or dehydration. It didn't matter anymore, he knew that it had to be his punishment for what he had done to his friends and family.

_Sound the bugle now, _

_play it just for me.  
As the seasons change,_

_remember how I used to be.  
Now I can't go on,_

_I can't even start.  
I've got nothing left,_

_just an empty heart._

He felt his body weakening with every moment, just like the pressure in his head was rising. He was about to lose his fight to stay conscious. He opened his eyes for another moment. He looked around the HQ. All the happy times he had spent there, with his friends. Would he see them again? What was there after he left his body? Total darkness or a place called heaven? There was nothing worth living for. He would die alone, there was no one who cared about him anymore, no one to help him.

_I'm a soldier,_

_wounded so I must give up the fight.  
There's nothing more for me,_

_lead me away...  
Or leave me lying here.  
_  
He didn't care about dying, leaving this cold harsh world. He wished it would come soon. There was no way to avoid it. His vision blurred and he felt the darkness coming over him. He closed his eyes again, relaxed the view muscles he had left to control. The numbness took over, his life would be over in a moment. The thoughts disappeared from his mind.

_Sound the bugle now,_

_tell them I don't care.  
There's not a road I know,_

_that leads to anywhere.  
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark.  
Lay right down,_

_decide not to go on._

"I am proud of you." A distant, but very familiar voice called out to him. The darkness which had seemed endless, lightened a little. He noticed that the pain was gone. He saw four shades coming closer to him. The closest one, talked to him again. "I hope that you have remembered who you really are, young Benjamin." Skipper waddled towards him, but he wasn't like the Skipper he had known. His happy face looked years younger, his feathers were shining. His bright blue eyes were looking proudly at him. The three other penguins moved closer to them. They were also younger than he remembered them. Kowalski, Nigel and Rico smiled at him. Rico's scar was gone, and he seemed saner than Private had ever seen him.

_Then from on high,_

_somewhere in the distance.  
There's a voice that calls,_

_"Remember who you are"  
If you lose yourself,_

_your courage soon will follow._

"Am I dead now?" He asked his friends. Kowalski shook his head. "No. Not yet. It appears that you are in a coma. But it wouldn't take long before it will happen." A friendly smile covered his face. He spoke in a soft loving voice."You have to be strong for a little longer, than you can come to us." Skipper nodded, he apparently agreed with Kowalski. "You really are a worthy soldier, you only have to fight this battle a little longer, than you will be free. " He reached out for Skipper's flipper, but he couldn't touch him. "Just a little longer Private, then you can join us." Private felt himself fading away from them, but they weren't disappearing from him, he was from them. "I don't want to leave you! Skippah!" The tears streamed over his face. He tried to break away from the invisible power which was parting him from his friends. He wanted to be with them, to be free from his thoughts. He knew that he could win the battle. He only wished that he would know when. The darkness around him lightened completely.

_So be strong tonight,_

_remember who you are.  
You're a soldier now,_

_fighting in a battle,_

_to be free once more._

_That's worth fighting for._

All his surroundings were white, there was nothing to be seen, only the white substance around him. He sat down, waiting for that what would, or wouldn't come. Suddenly, a swan appeared in front of him. She was large, perfectly white and her feathers shimmered a little.

"Who are you?" He asked the swan. The swan had a friendly expression on her face. "I am your guide, you can call me Angel." Her brown eyes looked loving him, and she swam through the white substance towards a light at what appeared the end of the lightness. He now noticed that he was swimming too, but it didn't cost him energy. They swam towards the bright light and Private saw the most beautiful flowers appearing around him, in all possible colors. Four penguins were standing in the light, smiling and waving. A smile appeared on Private's face. He had finally found a happy place, one where he would stay forever. Everything was alright now and nothing would change that.

* * *

_I guess not everybody knows what exactly made Private die, so I'll explain it here. :)_

_It was a cerebral hemorrhage, also known as a stroke._

_Most of them aren't caused by an accident, but a fall or such can cause a bleeding in the head._

_:)_


	30. Epilogue: Stars In The Sky

**Epilogue: Stars In The Sky  
**

The stars in the sky were shining upon the otter. Her fur had grey spots and her face looked old, wrinkled. A tear slid down her face, while she was walking towards her destination. It was precisely thirty years ago since her ignorance had caused the death of one of her friends. The steps she took were small, but still graceful. Everything about her was lady-like.

She had reached her destination. She sat down and looked over the water, the stars were reflecting in it. She saw four of them, shining brightly above her head. She smiled a little. They would never disappoint her. Every year, she went to the same pond and every year, four stars were shining brightly above her head. She knew that it had to be them.

Marlene had moved on, she had tried to forget them. But once every year, she would sit down and think about them. She would apologize to the penguins for everything not believing them, making fun of them. For calling them psychotic. She still felt guilty about Private's death. If she hadn't walked away and left him alone for three days… What if she would have stayed with him, no matter what? What if…?

If you can't see anyone around, does that mean that they're gone? The rain poured down, wetting her fur. She held them in heart, she would not forget about them. But she knew that one day, she had to join them. And from that day on, nobody would remember them. No one would ever say: "Have you heard about those penguins?" No one would even know that they had existed. No one would ever know about the great things they had done.

When nobody remembers you, when there's no trace to find about your existence, does that mean that you didn't live?

A cloud slipped for the moon and the stars, making the night pitch black. But when the cloud vanished, the stars were gone too.

When nobody remembers you, would that mean that you're gone forever?

* * *

_Thank you for reading my story, I hope that you liked it. :)_

_I would like to thank all the reviewers, but especially: Bml1997, K TheEpicPenguin, TheDarkMaiden, MadagascarGirl and SkipperPrivate for their constant reviewing and support. :)  
_

* * *

_I don't own The Penguins Of Madagascar;_

_Als 't Stormt by Ramses Shaffy;  
_

_Gone Forever by Three Days Grace;  
_

_Someone Who Cares by Three Days Grace;  
_

_Sound The Bugle by Bryan Adams.  
_


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